Happy New Year, 2018

 Out with the old, in with the new. 

Curbside

Reopening the library for curbside service during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Pyramid of Force

I found this carved into the road; I think in Laguna Beach in 2013.

I used to call it the pyramid of death, but I think it is actually the pyramid of force.

Pyramid of Force.

Force

Kill All Police.

Kill All the people. All seven billion.

Death all Police.

wtf?

Long Live This Ditch, 1983

Long Live This Ditch, S.G. & J.C. '83."

Found this message inscribed in a cement ditch. The message has survived 23 years so far, though it narrowly escaped destruction from a severe crack.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Feb. 4, 2006]

Every Meximelt

Personal ad placed in the Valentine's Day edition of a local newspaper (Bloomington, IN; Feb. 1992). It is a message from Larry to Laura Lynn. I'm guessing Larry was a Taco Bell employee and Laura Lynn was a customer.

At one point, Larry had apparently taken a photograph of Laura Lynn during one of her visits to his establishment & published it in the local newspaper along with a personal message of love. 

Laura Lynn,

You don't know me, but I love you.

I work at Taco Bell.

I was thinking maybe you love me too,

because you're there so much.

It's your smile I see when I melt the cheese on every Meximelt.

Please be mine.

Larry

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Mar. 9, 2004]

Bat Furfur

The time I had Furfur shaved to look like Batman.

Bat Furfur.

Found Note: Fuck You and Fuck Love

Note found in a public library:

Fuck you and fuck love.

Easter, 1992

Sitting across the street from a church, eating easter candy.

Easter, 1992.

(L to R: Johanns, me, Jason S., Brother Todd).

Shriner Autograph Collection

In 1988, I attended the annual Tarzan Zerbini circus in Fort Wayne, Indiana. This circus was an annual event hosted by the Mizpah Indiana Shriners. As attendees entered the arena, they received a program filled with advertising and information about the circus. The opening pages of the program included yearbook-style photographs of various Shriner officials, many of who were attending the event that very night, so I hung around after the circus ended, attempting to get their autographs.

As esoteric as they may appear, the Shriners were all pretty down to earth guys...not very mysterious or confounding at all.

 

The only autograph missing from my collection is Mick Ulmer, "Oriental Guide;" so if anybody knows him, hook me up.

Comments from original post on I'm Nacho Steppinstone:

"And they really DO look all mysterious and oriental!!! Absolutely NOT like average office guys only with stupid hats on,nooooo." - Sandra

"Hey, Jonnie- Mick Ulmer lives right here in Bluffton, Indiana. That is, he used to." - Andi

"WOW!!! I should've called him while I was down there! Does he live in a castle?" - Jonnie

Bonus:  A few more photos from that evening:

1. Jon Sr. in the parking lot, braving the sub-zero cold.

2. Me trying to hang with the Shriners.

3. Me and Sylvia Zerbini, accomplished aerialist & acrobat; daughter of Tarzan Zerbini himself.

4. The fantastically robust-looking fish sandwich Laura purchased at Azar's afterward.

Apple Dumpling!

In Colonial times, "Apple Dumpling," is what people would say when they would punch somebody in the nuts as a joke, according to a children's history show I watched.

"Apple Dumpling."

"Apple Dumpling."

Found Note: My Grandparents Think I'm Gay

Note found in a public library:

My grandparents think I'm gay.

The Golden Lion

I got this when we saw Dick the Bruiser wrestle for WWA at the Fort Wayne Coliseum in the late '70s or very early '80s. I've kept it for the next 40 years, so may it be preserved digitally forevermore.

Tim Golden

The Golden Lion

WWA

Street Fair

Anchorage street fair, as viewed from the ferris wheel:

View from the ferris wheel, Anchorage, Alaska; May, 1996.

Library Interaction: "Here's A Dollar"

Homeless girl who uses guest card every day puts a dollar in our Friends of the Library jar:

Girl: "Here's a dollar."
Me: "Thanks! That's really nice of you."
Girl: "I took it from the tip jar at Starbucks."
Me: "Oh...well, thanks?"

Midwestern Working Class Badasses

This was taken in a restaurant/bar where I used to work in the late 1980s, I was taking a picture of something and the guy in the middle goes, "Hey - take a picture of me and my brothers."

Midwestern Working Class Badasses.

I don't know why he directed me to take their photo. This was before digital cameras and email. There was no photographic instant gratification. Film had to be developed before you could see the pictures. So there was no way the photo was intended for their personal viewing. I guess he just wanted a record of their "brotherhood."  So, I'm posting it here for posterity.  

This is kind of how I imagine everybody looking in the old west. Then, they may have been heroes, or would have at least had a lot more influence, good or bad, in a less civilized era.

Note: The guy on the right is flipping the bird with both hands. "Fuck the World." haha

Red, White, & Brown

Dropped (not by me) on the sidewalk in Laguna Beach, California.

Red, White, & Brown.

Jah Love

Wall art in Los Angeles, CA.

Willow Weaving

When you're making rustic furniture, it's a fine line between looking really good and looking really crappy.

                                                           - Rustic willow-weaving instructor 

 Mine looked really good.

Found Drawing: Awkward for the Public!

"Awkward for the public!"

Oh, Deer

When it's time to decorate for Christmas, I always think, "Deer!"

Since 2015, these deer, and more, have been a staple of my holiday festivities. They fit perfectly on top of a flat screen TV.

Christmas deer on the TV, 2015.

 

Batman, Bob

Batman logo autographed by Batman creator, Bob Kane.

4th of July on the Roof

4th of July on the roof, Columbia City, Indiana; 1989. 

Nobody fell off!

At the time, I thought this was the beginning of an annual tradition, but it kind of ran out of gas that very night.

4th of July on the roof.

Tribute to Nelda

Tribute to Nelda, from Albert.

Tribute to Nelda.

Cat Scan

Machete’s unintended self portrait after she fell asleep on the scanner. In the resulting image, you can discern a couple of paws at the bottom. Suitable for framing.

Machete on the scanner.

[ Originally posted on The Real World…Blogger Style! – August 25, 2007 ]

The Plaid Brothers

 Jonnie and Todd Gilliom: The Plaid Brothers.

“We’re on a mission from mom.”

Overheard: 180 Days Sober

Two guys sitting in adjacent bathroom stalls talking shit about sobriety while, apparently, shitting:

Guy #1: "I drank myself into a coma. Woke up the next day, got a dog, and decided to be sober. Stayed that way for 180 days."

Guy #2: "That's it!"

Twits, 2007-2012

I never used Twitter much.  Here's my entire tweet history:

*Update 11/6/2022 - Finally deactivated the account this morning.

Pastey Whyte

Wall art, Melrose Ave., Los Angeles.

Pastey Whyte.

Cat Thanksgiving, 2006

In 2006, I was renting a cheap room in Santa Ana, where the property was overrun by a colony of feral cats, neglected by the community and left to fend for themselves on scraps and garbage. It was heartbreaking—many of them were sick, constantly re-infecting each other with colds and worse. They were painfully thin, doomed to short lives on the streets. We managed to rescue one of them, Tiggi, but didn’t have the means to help the others.

That Thanksgiving, after cooking a feast for just the two of us, we had more leftovers than we could possibly eat. So, after setting aside a few meals, we decided to share the rest with the cats. What started on the back porch quickly turned into a street party of sorts, as the cats, one by one, began dragging off their own personal servings of turkey and stuffing.

Cat Thanksgiving, 2006, was a true feast for the starving strays outside. I remember a light drizzle falling, with some of the cats already huddled on our porch for shelter. But as soon as the Thanksgiving dinner hit the air, they emerged—cats darted out from behind trees and dumpsters like they’d been waiting for the signal. When I moved the food closer to the dumpsters, twice as many hidden felines appeared, slinking out from the shadows to join the feast. It was as if they’d been lying in wait for their own secret holiday banquet.

Everyone ate their fill that night—except for one white cat I’d named Skeletor. He missed out on the feast, though I hoped he was getting fed somewhere else. I’ve never seen a turkey carcass picked so clean, so fast. Happy Thanksgiving!

Plastic Centaur Toy

This plastic centaur toy was a bargain at Dollar Tree.

He married a Pretty Pony in 2005.

Plastic Centaur. 

On the Frank Farm: Secret Features

One of the old, unused sheds on the Frank Farm is the home of a peculiar masterpiece, a tree that has slowly been growing through a chair over the years, as if time itself has been politely waiting for nature to finish its work.

Secret Feature @ the Frank Farm.

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 2

Guy walking on broken glass for money at Venice Beach.

Glass Walker.

Library Interaction: "16 & 18 Year Old Kids"

Man (frustrated): "The problem with everything these days is that media companies are only hiring 16 and 18-year-old kids to decide what counts as news and what gets made into TV shows and movies!"

Me: "What do you mean by 'only hiring 16 and 18-year-old kids'?"

Man: "Anyone under 50."

Me: "Oh."

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 1

Guy juggling knives for money at Venice Beach.

A selection of knives.

Catch!

Balancing & Juggling.

Rock On

Message inscribed in cement, I forget where.

Rock on, rockers.

"Rock and Roll will never die."

Bad Brains

H.R. from Bad Brains, Santa Ana Observatory; Nov., 2012.

Bad Brains.

Stef Milanovic, age. 24

The Mutter Museum in Pennsylvania needed to raise funds to preserve the Hyrtl Skull Exhibit, a collection of skulls that was used to debunk the pseudoscience of phrenology.  I did my part by adopting the 150 year old skull of Stef Milanovic, age. 24.

Jon Sr.'s Piranha Log

In the early 2000's, my father, Jon Sr., was living in Alaska and decided to keep a tank of piranhas. He named them all "Killer," and would post regular piranha updates through our family website, Gilliomville. What follows is a sort of "piranha chronicles," compiling all of Gilliomville's piranha-related message board posts:

I now have 5 piranhas in my 75 gallon aquarium. They are about one and a half inches long and, for the next month, will eat flake food. I did put a little guppy in with them and they chased him around, nipping at him. I haven't seen the guppy for a couple days. I guess maybe he was ganged-up on during the night.

Do piranhas snap into Slim Jims?

Ross, My alpha piranha eats even when he is not hungry. He just eats because he wants to remain the lead dog where the scenery always changes. I predict that within six months, he will be able to jerk a slim jim from one’s hand.

Fish tank report!! Piranhas all 5 are doing fine. I put three catfish in with them last week-end. The fish store person said the catfish were a fast growing type. She said that since the piranhas were small, that maybe the catfish could get some growth and possibly be tank mates. Situation looking pretty grave--one catfish appears alive and doing well, one catfish dead and one catfish missing.

Tank update!!! Two catfish dead and third still missing, which at this time is presumed to be dead. Killer is primary suspect, as the stalker. He did not come out to eat this A.M. He later made an appearance and seemed fine and probably full from his dark hours of evil doing. I will go to the fish store this week-end for ideas on possibilities for bottom cleaning. The catfish ended up adding to the waste problem. Maybe a turtle or snail is a possibility. Maybe a huge catfish. More updates as events evolve.

Tank update!! The remainder of the third and missing catfish has been recovered. It is fortunate, that he was the third and missing because the remains otherwise would not have been identifiable. I must get to the fish store!!

I think you should set up a Web cam on that tank. The pictures could be used as evidence against Killer.

Piranha tank update!! I talked with Josh, the manager of House of Critters, and explained my dilemma of no bottom feeder. I asked him about turtles and snails. He said that they would probably mess with anything they knew was alive. He said a snail might work if the piranhas thought it was a rock, but if they figured out it was not, they would probably mess with it. He said a sail is uni-sex and could stand a chance of overpopulating my tank. He suggested an electric catfish about three inches long for $29.95. He said the piranhas would mess with it only once. Josh said, the electric catfish stalks a small feeder goldfish within about two inches and then stops and lets out an electrical charge. The feeder fish is said to start floating to the top after receiving the charge and then is devoured by the catfish. It sounds like some high drama stuff for $29.95.

Electric catfish! Yeah, get one. For thirty bucks, I hope Josh knows what he's talking about. Will the piranha be safe from the catfish? It's turning into some kind of House of Eerie, all these villainous fish, like monsters.

Yesterday I found two feeder goldfish on my carpet. The fish were like two and three feet from the piranha tank. I think they did hari cari to get away from Killer.

My piranhas are growing so fast. I am afraid to put my hand in the tank. I think I am going to do like George Foreman, when he named his boys. He named them all George. They were George 1, George 2, George 3, etc. I am going to name my piranhas, Killer 1, Killer 2, Killer 3, Killer 4, and the last one I named Runt.

Man, I can't believe these killer fish!! When I feed them floating food, they splash water all over the top of the aquarium and sometimes on the floor.

When this box of food is gone I think I am not going to buy any more floating food. The one feeder fish of twenty five is still alive. He swims right around with the killers and Runt. I think they have adopted him. Maybe I'll let them get real hungry and see if they still like him.

Driving Stick

1.) Text from an email sent to brother Todd on May 31, 2000, containing a detailed description of my first experience driving a manual transmission. I was working in a factory at that time and the foreman offered me a forklift job if I went through forklift training over the weekend:

I went to forklift training this weekend and all they had was a stick shift, which I had no idea how to drive. It was pretty bad and the instructor was pretty cranky. I about ran the forklift through his wall and I kept laughing whenever I screwed something up, which was making the guy get madder and madder. In all my preoccupation over how to use the clutch without killing the machine, I kept forgetting the basic forklift safety video he'd just showed us. Looking behind you before going in reverse is very important, of course, because you could run into somebody; but it was far from my mind while I was learning how to drive a stick for the first time (in front of an audience no less).

Whenever I'd back up without looking, he'd yell, "You just killed somebody!!" and then I'd laugh really hard because he was so high strung. I was trying to concentrate on not letting the machine die and safety stuff was secondary to me. I also didn't tell him I didn't know how to drive a stick in the first place, so he thought I was just a real fuck-up.

He kept saying, "OK, I should tear up your license right now, but if you can move that crate and put it up on that shelf without fucking anything up, I'll let you have your license".

I'd say, "Alright" then take a deep breath thinking about how to work the forks and keep from killing the machine. I'd get oriented and start backing up, then he'd go "YOU JUST KILLED SIX PEOPLE!!!"

Then I'd laugh really hard and say, "I didn't mean to!"

I finally told him I’d never driven a stick before and he said, "oh, well, you should learn."
One other guy left before his test because he'd never driven a stick before either. After watching me and the instructor for awhile, he just snuck out the door and disappeared.

Anyway, there's a happy ending. The instructor told me I'd not get my license and to come back next week for more training (I was thinking, "Damn. So much for getting that forklift job then"). He took me into his office where he was really cool (I guess he was just acting like a hardass in front of the group). His associate said this sort of thing happens all the time and not to worry about it. The instructor told his associate to put my license on the bulletin board until next week when I would return to earn it, then he went out for the next class.

When he left, the associate said, "Don't worry about it", signed the license and then looked at the bulletin board and said, "There's so much stuff up there. I don't think we'd be able to find your license. It might get lost...I wonder where I could put it so it wouldn't get lost...{wink wink}...Here, I'll give it to you to hold on to and then you bring it back with you next week...{wink wink}...
I thanked him then left immediately...What a cool guy!

When I returned to the factory on Monday, I was SO NERVOUS about driving the forklift on the job. Then I found out it was a automatic, so I'm fine...whew!

2.) This small amount of stick experience came in handy about a year and a half later. I was working in a gas station and taking a bus to work because my car had broken down. The gas station’s owner used to buy old vehicles to fix-up and re-sell. One day he appeared out of the blue to drive me to work in an old pick-up truck he was trying to re-sell. On the way to work, he told me to keep the pick-up for getting to and from work until he found a buyer for it. He was just a cool guy like that. He didn’t pay much in wages, but he took pretty good care of you if you were halfway competent.

Almost immediately after I thanked him, I realized the truck was a stick shift and I'd never driven a stick in my life, aside from my forklift training fiasco. I was afraid that if I mentioned anything about that, he wouldn't let me borrow the truck, so I kept my mouth shut.

As we pulled into the station, it was very busy with lots of people going about their business pumping gas and coming and going from the store. It would be quite embarrassing trying to re-learn stick in front of that audience, so I (cleverly, in my opinion) requested he park behind the station (away from public view) so I could check the fluids and whatnot. And right there, behind that station, is where I taught myself to drive stick. It sputtered and jerked and died for awhile, then once I could get it to accelerate without killing it, I pulled it off the lot and took it down a side street (away from anybody who might know me) and gave myself a crash course. I was totally drenched in nervous sweat. If they would have seen me doing that in front of the station, they surely would have taken the vehicle away from me.

The Originals at Rest

A rare photo of all three of the original Originals sharing a bed.

Front to back: Stanley Wood, Machete, and Tiggi.

The original Originals.