1,000 Years of Dracula

AI-generated nightmare inspired by a child's spontaneous utterance in a public library: "One-Thousand Years of Dracula!"

Horror!

Curbside

Reopening Library of the Canyons for curbside service during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Library Answer Line

I used to staff the library answer line.

I was moderately helpful.

Library Answer Line.

Found Art

Found drawn on a computer mouse pad in a public library. I think it was drawn with an eraser.

Portrait in eraser on computer mouse pad.

Found List: Clubs

Found in a public library:

List of clubs.

List of clubs:

• Story makers
• Book lovers
• Jesus lovers
• Game makers

Laguna Beach Bike Rack

Surfboard stored in a bicycle rack outside Laguna Beach Library.

Bicycle rack outside Laguna Beach Library.

Library Interaction: Guard Dog

I approached a woman walking a dog in the library to let her know pets weren’t allowed. Of course, she claimed it was a service animal.

A few minutes later, another patron who had overheard the exchange gestured for me to come over. When I did, he leaned in and said in a confidential tone:

That’s no service animal. That’s a guard dog.  Because she’s got those HUGE TITS!!

Haha.

Library Interaction: Kill the Imbeciles

Lady upset about recent terrorist attack:

"It's in their religion. They want to kill all the imbeciles."

I'm sure she meant, "infidels," but whatever.

Library Interaction: "Here's A Dollar"

Homeless girl who uses guest card every day puts a dollar in our Friends of the Library jar:

Girl: "Here's a dollar."
Me: "Thanks!"
Girl: "I took it from the tip jar at Starbucks."
Me: "Oh...well, thanks!"

Carrying On

The car that rammed into Laguna Beach Library, hours before our Friends annual meeting, featuring T. Jefferson Parker.

Carnage:

Cracked wall in our childrens' area:

Fucking disaster:

Fixing shit:

T. Jeff will be here in an hour!

Ericka fixes the lights:

Hanging with T. Jeff:

What it sounded like:

All together now:

 

Library Interaction: "16 & 18 Year Old Kids"

Man (frustrated): "The problem with everything these days is that media companies are only hiring 16 and 18-year-old kids to decide what counts as news and what gets made into TV shows and movies!"

Me: "What do you mean by '16 and 18-year-old kids'?"

Man: "Anyone under 50."

Me: "!"

Van Wrap

OC Public Libraries' promotional OC Stories delivery van wrap, part of the 2013 OC Stories grant project.

B.E.E.E.R.S.

Given to me at a local public library by an ancient hippy:

"B.E.E.E.R.S."

  Blisses

  Enjoyments

  Ecstacies

  Euphorias

  Raptures

  Salvations

God bless everyone with all my prayers

Joshuah Joseph Ames

(14-Jan.; 2014)

Tribute to Nelda

Tribute to Nelda, from Albert.

Tribute to Nelda.

Pizza Leopard

Celebrating Summer Reading, 2012.

Pizza Leopard.

Found Note: My Grandparents Think I'm Gay

Note found in a public library:

My grandparents think I'm gay.

Charlie Munger Screen Saver

Charlie Munger screen saver, created by Albert; Jan, 2012:

Found in the Library

One plastic zip lock bag containing three tablets of Viagra.

Placed in the Lost and Found.

Great Shakeout

Earthquake preparedness flyer for our participation in the Great California Shakeout:

Great Shakeout flyer.

Found Note: Fuck You and Fuck Love

Note found in a public library:

Fuck you and fuck love.