We Mean Business

 A.I. generated business headshots of the Gilliom-Reeb family:

We're professionals: Jon, Ericka, Anikka, & Llyr.

Outtake:

1,000 Years of Dracula

AI-generated nightmare inspired by a child's spontaneous utterance in a public library: "One-Thousand Years of Dracula!"

Horror!

Ice Cream or Nuke?

Ambiguous images that could be ice cream or nuclear explosions. Thanks, AI!

Supplement to "My Experience Falling Through a Bathroom Ceiling"

Referring back to My Experience Falling Through a Bathroom Ceiling, I’ve always wished someone had taken a photo of the moment. I tried using A.I. to approximate an image of what it might have looked like to see me crashing through the ceiling of a high school restroom.

1.) First try - This first attempt could almost pass for a young Gary Numan plummeting from a high school restroom ceiling. Still, it misses a few key details—the falling debris that should be raining down around me, and, of course, the suit jacket I was actually wearing that day:

2.) This next image is more like it. The image includes the bits of broken ceiling that accompanied my descent. It also depicts me coming down on top of a toilet, which was an integral part of the experience. Bonus point: I kind of look like Ryan:

3.) In the next image, I look a bit like Brother Todd - kick open the door! -

4.) The last one captures my confusion pretty well, though the toilet is crazily halfway up the wall:

Anyway, I guess you would have had to have been there.

Panic, Pride, & Panda Express

Once, at Panda Express, I was halfway through my broccoli beef as a teenage couple at the next table finished their meal. The guy left his wallet sitting on his tray, and when he dumped the tray into the trash, the wallet went right along with it.

My friend, facing their table, leaned toward me and said quietly, “He just threw his wallet in the trash.”

The couple left the building, but a few minutes later they came rushing back, in a panic. The boy looked under and around the table where they’d been seated, then glanced at the trash can. He shook his head as if denying it was even possible. Not worth checking, he decided. Pride won out. He was not the wallet-in-the-trash type.

Looking back, maybe I should’ve told them. But in the moment, I let fate handle it.

Years later, in 2023, I asked a.i. to recreate the moment and the result left something to be desired. The boy was not actually wearing a panda mask that day.

A.I. recreation.