Apple Dumpling!

In Colonial times, "Apple Dumpling," is what people would say when they would punch somebody in the nuts as a joke, according to a children's history show I watched.

"Apple Dumpling."

"Apple Dumpling."

Found: Hey, Bitch"

"Hey, Bitch."

What Do You Want?

Some recent search engine queries that brought visitors to Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook:

• amish healthcare
• anchorage taco bell camera
• Bob Barker piggyback ride
• come mr tally man tally my banana
• dogs peeing on the wall
• funny cabbage
• great butt excercises
• hitler yelling
• how to be a fat sumo
• how to counterfit $20
• how does mass affect a pinewood derby car?
• i'm in jail
• incredible hulk nightlight
• jonnie esoteric
• old lady half werewolf
• pee in the coffee pot
• scrapbook boy
• supergirl porn
• testicle punishment
• what is the best outfit to wear for a singing competition

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Oct. 10, 2005]

G-ville Keywords

Keyword searches that brought people to Gilliomville in the mid-2000s:

amish in California

bend it like beckman photos

bras for full figures that of

breaded cheeseburgers

cocaine in germany guestbook 2004

dan haggerty look alikes

Distressed Camels

fart in a skillet

fay wray s tit shot

fish care for piranahas

fish processing chat room

fort wayne coney island sauce recipe

george foreman bratwurst how long

goldmine-between-your-legs

grandma is shitting

haunted houses and mesquite

history of menenites

how to bullshit a customs officer

how to gig frogs

Hulk Hands

immitation penis with clean urine

in rubber pants

irish goat

john-holmes dukes hazzard

K-Mart Closing Sale

nick nack shelf

peeing

poptarts commercial song

preventing nocturnal erections

raising piranha

Rick Hazel

scary mask

Shooting Wolves

space shuttle clean up

The Arctic Fox

the mule of grizzly adams

Todd's shoes

what is the best road pavement

Cheap Thrills: Fire & The Dictionary

In Los Angeles, whenever we were looking for something to do, we often turned to the dictionary. A random word could spark all sorts of fun associations.

One time, we used it to see what we’d write on our tombstones: Sarah's would say, "Faithless," mine would read, "Snake," and Miski's would be "Uncontainable."

Another fun pastime was playing with fire. One night, while cleaning the house, we got frustrated with all our clutter and decided to start a big bonfire in the backyard to burn anything we didn’t need. It turned out we had a lot more to toss on than we thought! After an hour of tossing in old dish towels, ugly clothes, random objects of questionable origin, and even a traffic cone (which took ages to melt), we started to wonder if we really needed any of it at all. We were all pretty drunk, which only added to the hilarity of the situation—after all, we could have easily ended up burning everything we owned!

Sarah Vaquero burning a shirt in the backyard.

When someone brought the dictionary over to the fire, it shifted our carefree vibe. None of us had the heart to toss the dictionary into the flames, so we decided to incorporate it into our game instead.

The rules were simple: one person would stand by the fire, ready to choose something to burn, while two others acted as judges on the sidelines. The person by the fire had to justify their choice for burning that item. But if they paused for more than five seconds or lost their train of thought, the judges would randomly pick a word from the dictionary and shout it at the speaker. The challenge? They had to weave that word into their justification in a coherent and meaningful way.

It was a fun game and it inspired some great arguments for burning shit.

This is what we all looked like in those days.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Dec. 11, 2003]

Artist's Depiction

This is a drawing of what I looked like my senior year of high school. It is pretty accurate and was drawn by my girlfriend at the time (1988 or -89).  

"Doh" is something we would say when we were otherwise at a loss for words. I know Homer started saying on The Simpsons, which aired in 1989, so maybe it was out there in the collective unconscious back then. I learned if from my friend Julie who reported that is what her little sister said when she accidentally knocked over the salad bar at Rax. We did not say it fast, like Homer Simpson does ("DOH!). We said it more drawn out and bewildered ("Doooh) like, "wow" or "uh oh."

Me circa 1988-89.