Mesa Verde

With Ericka at awe-inspiring Mesa Verde National Park, home of the cliff dwellers; May, 2015.

Salvation Mountain

With Ericka at Salvation Mountain. Niland, CA; July, 2014.

 

Viagra Pharmacy

Viagra store ("pharmacy") in Mexico.

This was a cruise ship stop (Mexico, not the viagra store).

Viva Mexico

I don't know that I want to formally visit Mexico, but it was pretty fun as a quick cruise stop.

 

Travel Notes RE: London/Germany

I.  Depart LAX – British Airways, 3:55pm

The airline announced first class and business boarding and all the women who lined up had the exact same hair-do. At least six of them, freaky!

British Airways’ in-flight entertainment system offers a diverse selection for each passenger.  You can choose whatever you want to watch whenever you want to watch it rather than having one movie broadcast to the entire group. I started watching The Black Swan, but the sound wasn't great and I lost interest; so I switched to The Fighter, followed by the Big Lebowski, and finally Little Miss Sunshine.

Dinner:  The curry chicken was awesome by any standards, but doubly so by airplane food standards.  The meal also included cheesecake, so no complaints.

British Airways provided complimentary toothbrushes and a small portion of tooth paste, which we appreciated after a ten hour flight.  This little perk enabled us to begin our time in London as fresh as possible.

After exchanging our travelers checks for British pounds, we caught the Underground to King’s Cross where our hotel was located.  On this Underground journey, we learned a new swear word: Cockfoster.

London was bustling with activity. We found our hotel, Crestfield Inn, without much difficulty thanks to Sandra’s uncanny sense of direction.  Our room was located on the top floor, which I thought was great until I learned they have no elevator.  It was a real ordeal carrying our heavily packed luggage up a narrow stairwell, climbing god knows how many flights of stairs.  But we made it and soon were comfortably settled in.

Next, we hit the streets, purchased Oyster cards, and took the Underground to Camden Town.  Our Oyster cards were a special edition commemorating the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton, so that was special.  We checked out the Camden Town Stables which date back to the 1800s. While browsing around, we grabbed some Chinese food for 4 pounds from a street vendor and it was delicious.  Portions are much smaller in Europe than in America.  The people generally looked more fit as a result of that and using public transit instead of cars.

We located the historic Roundhouse theatre, where Short Circuit Presents: Mute, A Celebration of Electronica was going to take place in a couple of days. Cool  building – it was round.  In the 1800s, it was a train station (where the train would turn around), now it’s a concert venue. 

After returning to the hotel, we turned in early to overcome our jet lag.

II.  Woke up at 6:30am for our complimentary breakfast.  Free breakfasts generally leave me nothing to complain about and this one was no exception:  strong coffee, meat and cheese on toast, various cereals, fruit, coffee, juice, hard boiled eggs.  I was particularly fond of the meat and/or cheese on toast and enjoyed numerous servings.
After breakfast, we caught a bus to Trafalgar Square where we signed up for the Big Bus tour of London which consumed a good part of our day and enabled us to take in all the notable sites in one day.  We returned home at one point to grab jackets then hopped back on the bus.  This tour also included a free boat ride down the Thames. I photographed Sandra in front of a barge that is featured in one of Depeche Mode’s videos. Great tour, we took a ton of pictures of people from atop the open roofed double decker bus.  Our driver also hit somebody on a motorcycle, which was surprising. Saw Big Ben, the London Eye, London Tower, and all that, even the pub where Charles Dickens used to hang out. I love London.

Back at our hotel, a nearby travel info station helpfully directed us to a nearby Internet café where I learned I was locked out of my gmail account due to suspicious activity.  I complained to Google and hoped for the best. We visited a local grocery store to stock up on water and crisps then spent the evening in lively SoHo.  Had a very good Italian dinner then checked out the night life, which was pretty vibrant for a weekday evening.  Sandra also found a cool graphic novel by a Freddie Mercury enthusiast and it was even on sale.

Oh – we love our bed!  It is mega firm and we both slept great in it.  Sandra claims I didn’t even snore last night. The towels are also impressive, not as soft as what we use in America, but extremely absorbent.  My hair was pretty much dry after running one over my head a few times.  They were some species of extra abrasive terry cloth. 

III.  I thought our shower was broken, but Sandra has the magic touch. I also thought my eyes were deceiving me when I looked out the window this morning because it looked like there was a guy in a Captain America costume standing a ways down the street. As we approached the Tube station later that morning, there was indeed a guy dressed like Captain America and he was collecting money for children.  It was lame to hear Captain America talk with an English accent though.

After breakfast, we visited Buckingham Palace to experience the changing of the guard.  I was surprised to learn they only perform this ceremony a few months out of the year (due to rain and generally bad weather).  Fortunately, we were in London at the right time of year.  It was quite a ceremony with marching regiments, horses, and all that.  I guess I was expecting the band to play “God Save the Queen”, but instead they played a Michael Jackson medley of all things, featuring “The Way You Make Me Feel”, “Man in the Mirror”, and “Bad”.  They kicked this medley off by playing “Theme from Rocky.”  Soon after the song started, I heard a voice in the crowd exclaim, “Rocky Balboa”, in a thick foreign accent.

Once the guard had changed, we tubed back to King’s Cross and strolled over to the British Library which was an impressive library indeed with a great gift shop. Their special collections room featured the Magna Carta itself along with some early Guttenberg Bibles from the birth of the printing press (1450s).  Lots of manuscripts including J.G. Ballard’s Crash and a Beatles section featuring drafts of early song lyrics scrawled out by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.  They also had numerous early navigational maps and religious texts among other impressive things. I really wanted to take some pictures, but cameras were prohibited.

After the British Library, we returned to Camden Market for some shopping.  At lunch, I couldn’t decide between the original English breakfast or fish & chips, so I ordered them both despite Sandra’s disapproval and the waitstaff’s confusion.  Awesome epic meal.

I'm really impressed by the bricks of London.  The most impressive brick structures are standing here. Great bricks.

Our legs were killing us by the end of the day, so we returned to the hotel to rest before the big weekend birthday event for Mute Records.

IV.  Woke up early and read from Bill Bryson’s At Home. After breakfast, we stopped by the Internet café before continuing on to the historic Roundhouse for Short Circuit Presents: Mute, A Celebration of Electronica. We checked in early, received our event passes, and enjoyed a couple of the best lattes I’ve ever tasted in an adjoining café/bar.  Daniel Miller himself wandered in and out repeatedly and was immediately accosted by Germans.  Later, we picked up our goody bags then enjoyed a couple of beers and pear ciders.  We played around with the synthesizer lab (“Don’t Be Afraid”) then I went across the street for fish & chips and a steak & kidney pie.

The Mute shows were fantastic. We got right up front for Recoil, who I wasn’t as excited about since we’ve seen them twice in California last year, but there was a twist! Nitzer Ebb’s singer joined in for a few numbers and he really made an impression.  What a great front man. This collaboration also included a drum line featuring the rest of Nitzer Ebb as well as the Architect!  Pretty cool. Allen Wilder got a little pissy about all the Depeche Mode fans in the crowd, but managed not to be too much of an asshole about it.  I guess it didn’t help that someone was yelling, “Martin Gore!” during Recoil’s set. It was like a quarter of the people were there to see Depeche Mode even though they were not scheduled to perform.

Nitzer Ebb was on next and they killed.  Killed, killed, killed. I had no idea they were so impressive. I remember, “Where is the youth/Where is the gold” from the 1980s, but had no idea they were still so vital. I love drums and yelling and there was a lot of that. The Architect came out and took pictures of the crowd for awhile. Saw that dude open for Recoil in CA.

Moby snuck onto the stage next, on the down low.  Contributed a great dj set.

Sandra got her picture taken with Recoil’s Paul Kendall then we grabbed a drink to brace ourselves for Boyd Rice / Non. What an experience! Boyd Rice is cool. I can't believe I saw him in person. He kicked his set off with “Total War” and ended it with a noise composition where he ran an electric drill over the strings of an electric guitar.

After Non, Sandra and I got separated. She caught Daniel Miller’s dj set. We met up afterward and took a cab home as the Underground was no longer running. Even though I know cars drive on the opposite side of the street in London, the late night cab ride was still a little disorienting.  I kept thinking we would run into oncoming traffic. Exciting. Great night!  More tomorrow.

V.  We caught a few hours of sleep. Didn’t stay for T. Raumschmier last night as they came on really late and we wanted more than a couple hours of sleep before the next day’s show. Today we met a couple of chatty Germans in the café, then set out to experience day two of the Short Circuit festivities. It’s too bad photographer Anton Corbjin cancelled, but we did attend an enjoyable talk from producer Gareth Jones. It’s impressive how down to earth these Mute guys are.

We caught a set from newly signed artist Beth Jeans Houghton next and we both really enjoyed what we heard though it was difficult to see her standing behind Daniel Miller. You don’t want that guy standing in front of you when you’re trying to watch a performance, he is both tall and wide. A massive, musical visionary. A “special guest” cancelled, then we grabbed a doener and got in line for a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds movie where we actually got to see and hear a former Bad Seed in person.  He had a great rabbit story. This wasn’t heavily attended as about everybody was attending a Q&A with producer Flood which was booked simultaneously in the next building.

We continually ran into Daniel Miller throughout the weekend. If felt like he was our shadow.

Our sociable German friends were parked in front of the main stadium entrance all day long.  Instead of checking out the day’s performances and special features, they stayed put so they could get as close as possible to the front of the stage for Fletch and Martin Gore’s dj sets.  They were two of many hard core Depeche Mode fans who came out for this event. No Depeche Mode fans are more hard core than those bred in Germany however. There was rampant speculation of an unannounced Depeche Mode performance and rumors that the band’s vocalist was sighted in London.  Ultimately though, these rumors came to nothing besides wishful thinking.

We spotted Boyd Rice hanging our in a full blown safari uniform complete with black shoes and socks.  I wish I caught a picture. He really stood out.

Our feet were killing us by the time the main events were starting up, so we decided to sit in the balcony for the evening’s performances where we enjoyed a nice overhead view of the show. Looked to our left, and there he was again – Daniel Miller.

The Liars kick off the evening’s main events.  They were cool - reminded me of Sonic Youth.

Next were the Residents – Oh, god.  The Residents.  I was speechless. “Mirror People!”  Really cool to see them live and I like weird things, but their set was very weird and perhaps went on a little long. Bravo though.

Andy Fletcher of Depeche Mode was on next with some half-assed dj-ing (with assistance).  I hope all the Depeche Mode fans thought it was worthwhile flying to London for this.

Around this time, the Roundhouse’s CEO informed us we were sitting in his seats and insisted that we move to other seats even though there were plenty of empty ones in the area. 

Fletch only dj-ed for about a half hour, then Alison Moyet and Vince Clark took the stage for Yazoo’s final performance ever.  I really enjoyed that lady’s singing.

Next was Erasure.  I’ve never been an Erasure fan, but the crowd went apeshit for them. The Roundhouse’s CEO left after their set. Still don’t know why he didn’t just sit in a different seat for the short time he was present.

More Fletch for another half hour. Sucked. I went out to the lobby for a beer and cider.  Event drinks are much more affordable in London.  America must tax the hell out of them.

Laibach was next – hell, yeah.  They even covered “Warm Leatherette” at the end of their set.  They also played hard core pornography on the video screen behind the band.

The night’s finale was a dj set from Depeche Mode’s Martin Gore. Oh god, I’ve been down that road before. I knew this might drag on for awhile.  Sandra and I went down to the main floor. I hung out on the floor while Sandra danced.  Met a very enthusiastic Residents fan who saw the group NINE times! WTF? How could you see the Residents nine times?

As the show wound down, our premium passes gained us access to an after hours party where we were treated to dj-ing from Daniel Miller himself.  Mr. Miller was later replaced by the well-regarded Rex the Dog.

So Sandra got in some more dancing. We left around 2:00am and caught a cab home.  On the way out, we saw a couple of girls flirt their way into the lounge where all the performers were hanging out.

London’s night life was really refreshing. People were out and about having fun at all hours, even on week nights. I was starving and McDonalds was open, so we brought some burgers back to our room and hit the sack. 

VI:  Slept in today, then stopped by the Internet café. I was glad to find I was no longer locked out of my gmail account any more. That was really a relief.  All my shit is in there. We grabbed brunch (English breakfast for me, doenner for Sandra) then visited Spitterlfield Market. After that, we visited the famous Abbey Road intersection where the Beatles were photographed for the Abbey Road album cover. This was really an event because there were all kinds of visitors having photos taken of themselves crossing that intersection. You don’t really realize how influential that image is until you realize there is probably a more or less continual flow of visitors wanting to emulate that picture. The local cab drivers seemed pretty annoyed by it. After Abbey Road, we returned to Camden and checked it out one last time.  Had a delicious dinner at a Turkish restaurant, then returned to our room for our final night in London.

VII:  On to Germany:

We managed to wake up in time to pack and make ourselves presentable. One last complimentary breakfast at the Crestfield; then on to the airport and Deutschland, the greatest of the countries. I still haven’t learned German after these five years or so, dang it.

We made it to the airport in one piece. Our flight was delayed an hour, but the actual flight itself was brief, about an hour.  We initially thought our William & Kate Oyster cards would make great souvenirs, until we learned we can trade them in for the balance of our unused travel funds.  We opted to redeem our money since we already had a photograph of the Oyster card.  That is called thrift.

Arrived in Frankfurt and met the legendary Frau Thum, Sandra’s mother. She had snuck into the baggage area somehow.  She drove us home to Braubach where we picked up some cake at Café Marksburg then ate it with coffee in the breakfast area of Frau Thum’s and Mehmet’s new bed and breakfast. The B&B looks great. We were impressed.

Next, we caught up with Granny at the house and settled in. Frau Thum and Mehmet treated us to dinner. Since it is asparagus season in Germany, we ordered asparagus with our dinner and it was delicious of course.

VIII:  Sandra’s birthday: For breakfast, Frau Thum treated us to steak tartare, my first ever. Loved loved loved loved it. I just can’t get steak tartare off my mind.

We were treated to Koblenz’s big garden event (BUGA) and Sandra was able to spend some time with her family on her birthday. We rode a boat down the Rhine to Koblenz, then rode cable cars up to the event. Spent the day there and had ice cream with liquor in it and Hefeweizen.

We returned to Braubach that evening and dined at Goldenen Schlüssel where I finally tried schpetzula.  Yum! Great meal.

IX: While I was really impressed with yesterday’s steak tartare, Frau Thum and Sandra told me about a local butcher’s spicy version which he calls, “American Style”. It is reportedly the best thing ever. He only makes it on weekends, but Frau Thum surprised us with a batch at breakfast this morning. It was indeed the best thing I ever ate.

We checked the Internet then took a bike ride along the Rhine. Pretty warm weather today. We stopped for refreshments at a snack stand which featured pea soup with a sausage floating in it. I tried a cola/beer mixture which tasted surprisingly agreeable. Kind of bitter.

After our bike ride, we made a Globus run. I was surprised to see a Jim Beam representative giving out complimentary shots of a new cherry-infused whiskey right there in the store. You’d never see that in America. And what a meat and cheese selection! Jesus!

For dinner, Sandra’s Uncle Rudolph grilled steaks and sausages for the Thum family in the backyard dining area next to the impressive fountain he was constructing last time we were here. Hanni and Christian joined and I consumed a lot of Hefeweizen. Later Rudolph brought out the schnapps. I was proud to be told I can drink like a German. Coming from Rudolph, that is the greatest compliment a guy could hope for.  Awesome.

X:  Surprisingly, I was not suffering from a hangover when I woke up.  It was probably all the food I ate.

Sandra and I walked around photographing Braubach. We picked up a couple of postcards – one for Dad and one for LTK, then we stopped for ice cream.  I managed to spend a lot of the euro change I brought from home, “Ich habe viel klein Geld.”

Later, we caught up with Hanni and Christian at their place.  We enjoyed a couple of really good malz beers then on to Laguna Pizza!  Sandra had her favorite, the Pizza Chef, and I tried the strangely named, “Americano” which featured thin strips of raw beef. Delicious, but I don’t know why Germans apparently think Americans eat raw beef. This was the second raw beef dish with "Americano" in the name. I wish it were true. I wish we had more of that available over here.

Came home and checked out Germany’s Top Model with Heidi Klum.  A lot fewer commercials on German TV.

XI:  We walked over to Frau Thum’s office and checked in for tomorrow’s flight.  Had a snack at Café Marksburg then Frau Thum drove us to Koblenz for shopping and last minute errands.

Upon returning to Braubach, we visited Krista and Heinz. Krista related her long history of dogs who died. They have me and Sandra’s wedding picture hanging on their wall!

We treated Hanni and Frau Thum to dinner at Eck-Fritz, Braubach’s greatest restaurant. We had to rise at 4:00am the next morning.

XII:  Hanni and Christian gave us a ride to the airport. Frau Thum had other commitments that morning, so it saved us from travelling by cab and train. Our bags were a lot heavier on the return trip. I should bring less clothing next time.

Nice flight from Frankfurt to London. In the London airport, I wandered off in search of one last “Traditional English Breakfast”.  I love beans and eggs. Well, I almost missed our flight.  While I was eating, I realized the gate closed well before the actual departure time, so I was running through the airport.  Thank god the airline was running a little bit late.  Sandra was not amused. New cell phones are in the future.

John Wayne Airport

Me and Jon Sr. at John Wayne Airport, Orange County.

Two Jons and a John.

When in Austin...

Besides Hook 'Em Horns, two other awesome things to see in Austin are:

1.  The Alamo

2. Animatronic LBJ.

Texas really is one big wonderland.

Rome on my Mind

Me in Rome, with the Column of Marcus Aurelius ascending from my head.

A.I. animated version.

J Spot

Guess what this is -

My favorite parking spot in Von's supermarket parking lot has been memorialized.

I drive over to Von's every morning at about 5:45 a.m. and park there all day while I ride the bus to work. I'm gone for roughly twelve hours (8.5 working and 3.5 commuting both ways), then I drive back home.

Apparently they re-surfaced the parking lot on Tuesday and, since I wasn't around to move my car, they had to pave around it, leaving a huge unpaved spot, memorializing my favorite parking space.

I think it's cool.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Apr. 27, 2006]

Homecoming

I'm back from my travels, just in time for my final MLIS class.

August was great! I got to help Jon Sr. build a garage on this Alaska property:

 Then I got to fly down to the mid-west to meet my brand new niece, Mina, in Missouri:

Mina & Uncle Jonnie.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Aug. 31, 2005]

Back in Town

I just returned from a trip home to Indiana for the sad occasion of attending my uncle's funeral.
Aside from the purpose of the trip, it was great to see the family and farmland again.

A lot of us had an early reunion at Chicago O'Hare Airport as all of our connecting flights were delayed or cancelled. I met my father and cousins Adam and Abby there and we all cancelled our connecting flights and took a bus to Indiana.  It was a riotous journey.

At the end of the trip, as we were all entering the airport to fly to our respective home states, Abby sent a fake can of peanuts with a springing snake it it through baggage check.  We were hoping the TSA guy would open it and get pranked. He laughed and refused to open it though. He said he saw the snake in the scanner.

Once back in Orange County, it took me two hours to get home from the John Wayne airport by bus, but it was totally worth it. The driver for the first segment of my ride should have been on American Idol! He sang really well. There were only three passengers on the bus, it was evening, and the driver was singing beautifully. A bunch of old Temptations songs, and I don't know what all. A bag lady who was riding would occasionally join in and they'd perform a duet. It probably was my most delightful bus ride ever.

Based on the three bus drivers I rode with to get home, I'd say that evening bus drivers are far more pleasant than daytime bus drivers (in Orange County, at least). It is probably the lack of traffic congestion.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, June 5, 2004]

Chipping & Driving

Hot & Spicy or Cheesy: pick your poison for the long drive from Texas to L.A.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Dec. 13, 2003]

Hook 'Em Horns

During our visit to Austin, Texas, I was very surprised and amused to so see the locals flashing the heavy metal devil's horns all over the place. At first I felt like I'd stumbled upon a cult or a criminal organization of some sort, so of course I had to take a picture:

Hook 'Em Horns!

It turns out, "Hook 'Em Horns" is a University of Texas, Austin school spirit thing. The gesture represents the school's sports mascot, the Longhorn. 

Brother Todd later drove me out to witness this statue:

Rock On, Dude.

Relief on the statue's base.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Dec. 15 2003]

Econoliner (Road Hog Weekend)

[Originally posted as part of "Road Hog Weekend," on The Real World...Blogger Style!]

When I think of living in Alaska, I think of driving around in a Ford Econoliner from the late 1970s.

My brother Todd purchased our first Econoliner down in Indiana. He added some special features to the original green van, most notably: a set of sexy mannequin legs protruding from one of the back walls:

Todd's customization job.

The legs were eventually removed so he could install bunk beds for his road trip to, and back from, Alaska. I was able to participate in the Green Econoliner's second Alaska trip in 1994 (documented in Van Log '94).

Mel, Laura, me, & Todd: Ready to set off to Alaska.

One of the green Econoliner's cool features was that the walls were covered with yellow shag carpeting. Carpeted walls = comfort:

Carpet.

In Alaska, the green van was more often referred to as the, "green egg van." This is because of a fried egg sticker Todd had adhered to it. People always asked what it meant. They usually took it to be reference to, "This is your brain on drugs." 

The "Green Egg Van" in Seward, AK.

While Todd drove and lived in the green egg van in Valdez, I relocated to Anchorage where I purchased a second, blue, Econoliner from a co-worker. This is the one I accidentally shot a hole in during my first day on a new job.

At the end of the salmon season, when Todd came back through town, the Gill Bros had two Econoliners on the streets of Anchorage. 

Two Gills in two Econoliners.

After that summer, Todd left me the green van and flew back down to Indiana, so I was blessed with two Econoliners.  I drove one and let Donald Kilbuck use the other one. They both made it through my first Alaskan winter. 

The Green Egg van turned back to Todd when he returned the following summer. It was ultimately deserted in Valdez after its transmission went out. Reportedly though, it would still drive in reverse for awhile and Todd tells me they would occasionally take it on a short drive into town in reverse!

The blue van became Donald's and he continued to drive it into the late 1990s when it finally gave up the ghost. By then, it had a steel bar welded to the front, acting as a homemade bumper and a patchy blue pattern from Donald spray painting over rust spots.

Let the Sun Shine: Donald & the blue Econoliner.

The blue Econoliner from my apartment window, Anchorage, 1997.

[Originally posted on The Real World...Blogger Style!, Feb. 12, 2006]

Hyder-ized

While driving through British Columbia, Canada, for what seemed like forever on our road trip to Alaska in 1994, we made a Hyderization pit stop in Hyder, Alaska.

The proper entrance to Alaska is through the Yukon Territory, which was still a long way off, but we learned there was a southern Alaskan town called, "Hyder," accessible through British Columbia. It isn't a proper entrance to Alaska because there are no additional routes into the interior, evidenced by the absence of a customs stop.

We were a little road weary from days of driving and decided it was worth the 200 mile detour off the Alkean Highway to check out Hyder. It was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity. I doubt we will ever be back in Hyder. It is absolutely in the middle of nowhere.

Checking out Hyder, Alaska.

Once we arrived, Hyder looked like kind of a wilderness outpost. There were a few buildings (at least half of which were bars) and a lot of mud.

One guy we met there told us they did try to establish a border patrol office at one point in the town's history, but the locals, "shot it up."

There was not even anything to indicate where the Canada-Alaska border was. The guy we were talking to said, "There used to be a sign, but if fell down, eh?"

We decided to celebrate at the Glacier Inn bar & liquor store. The walls were covered with autographed money, originally from miners staking claims, but in recent years it was probably just drunks.

One wall of the Glacier Inn.

While we were there, the bartender, Caroline, was creating a subliminal message to her boss by stapling $2 bills to the money covered wall to spell out, "Fuck you, Buzzy." She said he would never notice and she would laugh about it for years.

"Fuck you, Buzzy."

The Glacier Inn had a tradition called, "Hyderization," the process of, "getting Hyderized," which consisted of drinking a shot of Everclear.

We recorded Caroline's Hyderization rap on the Van Log cassette tape rec (she was able to recite it super fast, an skill she called, "Speed Hyderization"):

What I have before you is a water chaser, this in the other hand, is a house special. You may not taste it or smell it first. You have to knock it back straight one time & one time only... On the count of 3, down the hatch. 1,2,3. Congratulations, you've just been Hyderized with 1 ounce of Everclear 190 proof straight grain alcohol. Here's you card, sign your name to it...Welcome to Hyder & have a nice day. Bingo! We're done! Thank you.

Getting Hyderized.

After that initiation, they provided you with a souvenir card:

My proof of Hyderization.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Mar. 12, 2004]

Bozeman Radiator Disaster

Here's a good radiator disaster pic:

Catching our antifreeze leakage in cooking pans.

It was in Bozeman, Montana, during our 1994 drive from Indiana to Alaska, when we sprang a radiator leak. We managed to limp into a Napa auto parts parking lot just before the engine overheated completely. We parked and let everything cool down, catching the leaking antifreeze in pans because we were afraid Napa might kick us off their lot if we flooded it with coolant.

As bad as that seemed, things only got worse from there. Among other disasters, our camp stove decided to give up on us too.

Laura with our faulty camp stove.

Things escalated fast after that. I was trying to help Laura with the stove when I managed to set a can of kerosene on fire. I looked down and saw the fluid around the spout starting to ignite. Without thinking, I hurled the can—straight at the Napa store building. It exploded almost immediately on impact.

Here's the result:

Fire at the Napa store.

I guess I was just thinking in terms of throwing it AWAY from the van and opposite of the van was Napa.

That got the store staff riled up more than antifreeze in their parking lot ever could have. Multiple staff members immediately came pouring out of the building wielding fire extinguishers. My first thought was to take a picture (above).

When brother Todd saw the explosion in his rear-view mirror, he just threw the van in neutral - coasted right over all those pans of antifreeze.

Laura fell down and peed her pants from laughing so hard.

It was freaking hilarious.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Feb. 10, 2004]

Van Log, 1994: Alaska

7:47 pm: Welcome to Alaska! The pavement begins here! We're now going to Customs to see what happens there. See what kind of shit they give us... Hellfire! Baton down the hatches!! We're at Customs.

Hello.

Where are you all headed?

Valdez.

Where you coming from?

Indiana.

Everybody U.S. citizens?

Yep.

Let me see I.D. from everybody please.

Alright.

Any firearms on board today?

Nope. Noooo....

Go ahead and shut the vehicle off. I want you to come inside and fill out a customs declaration for me.

Okay.

Leave the keys in the ignition. Come on in. Make sure you bring your purses and bags.

That guy inside was the most intimidating fucker I ever saw. I felt guilty. My hands were shaking.

No shit! I thought something in there would pass as pot. He pulled that pin out of my wallet & I thought, "Oh Shit!" and it wasn't even for drugs! I just had it! 

He's good.

They found resin on my knife. The guy knew it was resin, but he didn't want to push the issue because that's all they found. My heart was racing. That was the best customs officer I've ever seen! He should get an award. That guy was a hard ass. He was like, "Grateful Dead...hmmm...You guys have a lot of these..."

But the guys who searched the van were actually pretty nice. They just moved some stuff around. They probably found that note.

No, I had it crumpled up.

They might have though.

They didn't even look under this tag here.

No! They didn't! We could've brought a bale of dope!

No, they probably ran a dog through here and that was it.

Happy to be here. Let's buy a bag. Inside they were talking to a guy and they go, "I'd appreciate it if you don't drop or lose anything because you're on camera". Then the guy's like, "Huh! At least you got the pleasure of sayin' that"! Some hick asshole.

I'm glad to be out of there! I thought for sure I was sunk. I felt guilt for no reason. I started thinking stuff like, "OK, I did lick off those tweezers after I used them for a roach clip, didn't I"?

He didn't give me my knife back! Wait, maybe he did...yes. The law sucks.

We pulled up and he thought, "I'm gonna get these guys".

There's resin all over my knife! All Over!! Fuck, I've got resin on two of the blades that you don't use for anything else but scraping resin. I didn't even think of that. He said, "You'd better clean or lose that knife". I planned to say I bought it at a second hand shop in Montana. But we're in Alaska now! Let's all smoke a cigar! And inhale it! And play Irish drinking songs!! Yeah!!!!

8:28 pm: We made it through Customs. Fuck 'em. Yes, those are fucking Grateful Dead tickets, buddy! I was high every day for two days!! And I dropped acid three times in those twenty days, mother fucker!!! Fuck 'em.

Welcome to Alaska.

Alaskan Moose.

Another flat.

Mel handling the lug nuts.

9:25 pm: OK, we have a kind of mechanical mystery for awhile. Every time we got to 60 miles/hour, it would go, "brrrbbbb!!!!!" & everything would shake, then we heard a "Bam!", so we pulled over. I was sitting in the passenger seat, feeling the vibration, getting a little bit concerned about it & suddenly I heard this "Boom!" that Todd spoke of and, up through the fender, right into my leg, shot a projectile of an unknown consistency - but it kind of hurt. Shot through the vent. So ,the tire is just feeling like dead skin from a sunburn. It was bad, Van Log, real bad. I've got the lug-nuts loose & this is not going to be a problem. That's the sound of a lug nut going none too easy.

Can you move your knee? This jack is a bitch. The tire just rolled away. There we go. Tire in place. Mel's now putting the lug-nuts onto the lug-bolts.

Oh my God, Antifreeze! They were supposed to have fixed that! It's barely leaking. What did they do? We don't know enough to know if they did it or not.

Oh! My head's underneath the van & it's on a jack on a piece of wood! I like it, it's sunny out here. The promised land. We made it. I say we celebrate with some hacky sackin' once we get this done.

I say we go on to Valdez, but the more physical shit we do, the more we'll wear off our buzz.

What are you doing!!?? Kicking a van on a jack!!??

Should I lower it?

What do you want for Christmas next year, Todd?

A jack.

Mel shoe-gooed the Mountie over the hole from the bullet that went through the hole in the van.

...We ate at Pizza Bella and it was great. A feast. We had garlic bread & pizza and we're looking to get air in the tire, but we're not finding any. We're mere hours from Valdez & I'm excited.

Day 9, 1:18 am: There's a moose, unconcerned that we just took a picture of it. It just stood there. Big Ol' Moose. We have to find one with big antlers yet.

2:45 am: We just saw our first Alaskan porcupine walking down the road. My concentration is on the tension at the back of my neck and staying on the road.

3:52 am: I'm still kickin' and trying to get to Valdez. Won't these guys be surprised when they wake up? 91 miles to Valdez! We're gonna be in Valdez on the last full moon of May. When we left home, it was barely a sliver. This is definitely one of the most beautiful nights I've ever seen. The moon is so bright and distracting that I'm using the sun visor so I can pay attention to the road. I'm dead tired but I just can't help it, I've got to keep on truckin'.

4:58 am: 40 miles from Valdez & it's damn cold! We can't see anything, it's damn foggy. We've told you about fog before, but that was nothing but talk. This is Fog. This is bullshit! Goin' downhill in the fog on a mountain. There's a lot of snow. City center of Valdez is 19 miles from here. Laura's taking us all the way to Valdez, she's been driving for hours.

Our journey's almost over. Horse Tail Falls! We're now in Valdez city limits.

Valdez Harbor.

And so we did indeed make the trip! Here we are at our Valdez campsite with one of many new acquaintances - YaYa:

Valdez campground.

We gradually parted ways over the summer, periodically running into each other here & there, in Alaska and elsewhere.

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska