Bozeman Radiator Disaster

Here's a good radiator disaster pic:

Catching our antifreeze leakage in cooking pans.

It was in Bozeman, Montana, during our 1994 drive from Indiana to Alaska, when we sprang a radiator leak. We managed to limp into a Napa auto parts parking lot just before the engine overheated completely. We parked and let everything cool down, catching the leaking antifreeze in pans because we were afraid Napa might kick us off their lot if we flooded it with coolant.

As bad as that seemed, things only got worse from there. Among other disasters, our camp stove decided to give up on us too.

Laura with our faulty camp stove.

Things escalated fast after that. I was trying to help Laura with the stove when I managed to set a can of kerosene on fire. I looked down and saw the fluid around the spout starting to ignite. Without thinking, I hurled the can—straight at the Napa store building. It exploded almost immediately on impact.

Here's the result:

Fire at the Napa store.

I guess I was just thinking in terms of throwing it AWAY from the van and opposite of the van was Napa.

That got the store staff riled up more than antifreeze in their parking lot ever could have. Multiple staff members immediately came pouring out of the building wielding fire extinguishers. My first thought was to take a picture (above).

When brother Todd saw the explosion in his rear-view mirror, he just threw the van in neutral - coasted right over all those pans of antifreeze.

Laura fell down and peed her pants from laughing so hard.

It was freaking hilarious.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, Feb. 10, 2004]

Mesa Verde

With Ericka at awe-inspiring Mesa Verde National Park, home of the cliff dwellers; May, 2015.

Salvation Mountain

With Ericka at Salvation Mountain. Niland, CA; July, 2014.

 

Juggernaut

My first memorable car was affectionately nicknamed The Juggernaut.

It was a massive, nearly indestructible beast that had somehow been driven by a tiny old lady since the 1970s.

The car was undeniably badass, and I loved driving it.

The Juggernaut.

One other notable feature of The Juggernaut was the top of its front windshield. It must’ve leaked at some point, because there was a thick line of yellowed foam sealant running across the top, held together with a generous amount of duct tape.

This detail is clearly visible in a photo of James A. and me going through the McDonald’s drive-thru—James wearing a rubber Man-at-Arms mask from Masters of the Universe.

Taking the Juggernaut to McDonalds, late 1980s.

J Spot

Guess what this is -

My favorite parking spot in Von's supermarket parking lot has been memorialized.

I drive over to Von's every morning at about 5:45 a.m. and park there all day while I ride the bus to work. I'm gone for roughly twelve hours (8.5 working and 3.5 commuting both ways), then I drive back home.

Apparently they re-surfaced the parking lot on Tuesday and, since I wasn't around to move my car, they had to pave around it, leaving a huge unpaved spot, memorializing my favorite parking space.

I think it's cool.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Apr. 27, 2006]

Column of Virtue

Me in Rome, with the Column of Marcus Aurelius sticking out my head.

Homecoming

I'm back from my travels, just in time for my final MLIS class.

August was great! I got to help Jon Sr. build a garage on this Alaska property:

 Then I got to fly down to the mid-west to meet my brand new niece, Mina, in Missouri:

Mina & Uncle Jonnie.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Aug. 31, 2005]

Gill-Frank Road Trips

[Compiled from various posts on the Gilliomville message board, contributed by various Gillioms and Franks]:

Remember Nick asking us, “Do you wanna eat at King's Island (spoken in a joyful tone of voice) or Pearl's Diner (spoken in a tone of disgust)”?

Pearl's Diner is a great memory. Now that I am a man and no longer a child, I would much rather eat at a diner that at an amusement park. I think my true motivation was to try to get to the park as early as possible so I could be one of the first people on the Beast or whatever the big roller coaster was back then.

I can just imagine the parents tallying up the breakfast bill. Do we wanna fill up at a reasonable diner with free coffee refills, or load up on snack foods at five times the regular price?

We met a girl at a party who was from Richmond, IN. She was familiar with all the rides at King's Island and Cedar Point, and she seemed to prefer King's Island. She called me "old school" when I mentioned the Screamin' Demon. Man, it was fun to go there.

Do you remember the trip to Michigan?  I remember staying in some cheap cabins and Jonnie climbed up the lattice work on the front of the office. I do not have one other memory of the whole trip.

I remember car problems at a grumpy guy's campground we called Crazy Gukenheimer and the sun shining as we boarded a big boat.

Crazy Gukenheimer was the man who rented us our cabins. Herb remembers when we stopped to see if there was a vacancy, there was an old woman in the office. She wrote a note and put it in the mouth of a large dog. She told the dog to go find Daddy and he took off to find the man that Jon and Herb later called Crazy Gukenheimer. Pretty soon the guy came. He had been fishing down at the lake behind the cabins. By that time, Jonnie had climbed up the lattice work of the office. We spent the night there and I remember you four boys were going all directions.

I remember the boat ride too, but I didn't understand where we were going or why we were on it. I thought it was magnificent. I also remember being terrified of the haunted house, and waiting with some of the adult women while Jonnie and either Nick or Ross went inside with my Dad, I think. I was terrified that Jonnie wouldn't survive to come back out again. There were pictures on the outside of devilish horrors I didn't understand -- and that made them REALLY scary, because Jonnie and I imagined the worst possibilities of what was going on in there.

I remember being terrified in that haunted house!  Dad was carrying me by the end of it.  One monster jumped out and scared the crap out of me – I started crying and the monster goes, “I was just kidding, little kid”.

The island we visited was Mackinaw. We took a ferry over and rented horse drawn carriages to see the island. There are no cars on the island. Most of us have been there several times. It is a nice short trip from Indiana.

Do you boys remember getting pigs in a blanket at IHOP and putting every kind of syrup at the table? 

Alaska, 1990, pt. 2

Kennicott, 1990.

On the road to Valdez, we took a 60-mile detour to visit McCarthy and Kennicott, an abandoned mining town. It wasn’t the most convenient stop, but we figured if we didn’t check it out then, when would we? The journey involved a treacherous 30-mile drive down a rough dirt road in the middle of nowhere. By the time we reached McCarthy, we had managed to ruin two tires.

Getting to McCarthy is an adventure in itself; you have to cross a river on a hand tram. So, we lugged our flat tire across the river and found a guy on the other side who specialized in tire repair. To our surprise, he fixed the tire for a surprisingly low fee. Considering how far we were from civilization, he could have charged us anything, but instead, he was shockingly fair.

McCarthy itself had a population of barely twenty-something people. It was quaint, but also a bit eerie, especially considering the dark history: years ago, a resident computer programmer went on a rampage, shooting up the town and taking out half the population, which amounted to about ten people. A real testament to the wild side of life in the Alaskan wilderness!

Plant foreman, "Mad" Max, Paul processing, me processing, & me on boat.

Well, after a pit stop in Anchorage, we finally made it to Valdez. We arrived with recommendations for Nautilus Marine, feeling confident with solid references and mutual acquaintances with some of the plant management. However, as it turned out, in the middle of salmon season, Nautilus hires just about anybody.

Icing salmon on the dock, working & playing in the ice house, packing w/ Erin.

Nautilus was hard work and long hours, but it was also a lot of fun. Every week, the community would host "The Feed" at a local church, where fishery workers from all around could come for a free meal. We also made it a point to have a drink at the bar where Captain Hazelwood got drunk before causing the Exxon Valdez oil spill.

Continued from Alaska, 1990, pt. 1

Alaska, 1990, pt. 1

Homer, AK, 1990.

In early 1990, my friend Paul and I began exploring options for an interesting summer job. Nothing stood out until Paul mentioned his aunt in Alaska and the possibility of working up there. Without hesitation, we decided to fly to Alaska and try our luck in the seafood industry for the summer.

At the time, Paul was a far more seasoned traveler than I was. In fact, it was my very first time on a plane. Alaska made an immediate and lasting impression on me. I was captivated by the sight of mountains in every direction, even in the heart of the city. I also fell in love with the cool summer climate and the eccentric people who called Alaska home.

Before the trip, I brought along a lantern, fully expecting to do some serious camping. Little did I know that Alaska barely gets dark in the summer! Fortunately, we were able to store the lantern at Paul’s aunt’s house.

We also bought a beat-up old car, which we affectionately named "The Abomination." It came with four studded tires for winter, though they weren’t much use during the summer. Thankfully, Paul’s aunt kindly allowed us to store those at her house as well.

The "pup tent", Working for Anne & Mean Gene, Ol' Tom Adams, & Claudia w/ customized rubber boots.

When it came to finding employment, we were completely winging it. Ultimately, we decided to drive out to Homer, where we set up camp on the Homer Spit—a 4.5-mile stretch of land jutting into the ocean. From there, we went door to door looking for work until a company called Keener Packing hired us to dig a ditch.

As it turned out, they initially planned to fire us once the ditch was dug. But, for whatever reason, they took a liking to us and decided to keep us on. We quickly became known as "the Pups" by everyone there, a nod to our complete lack of knowledge about fish or Alaska. Our campsite was affectionately dubbed "the Pup Tent."

Salty Dawg saloon, Paul from California, Melissa, Kennicott, the abandoned mining town.

We stayed in Homer through early July, eagerly anticipating the Fourth of July fireworks display over the ocean. However, the spectacle fell short of our expectations—Alaska’s endless summer daylight made it difficult to enjoy fireworks without the contrast of a dark sky.

By then, we realized we weren’t saving any money, so we decided to try our luck in the salmon fisheries of Valdez, which were rumored to offer plenty of overtime. Some of our co-workers at Keener knew the plant managers at Nautilus Marine. One of them even ran dog sleds with one of the foremen during the winter. They planned to meet us there, as we all prepared to jump ship from Keener.

Continued @ Alaska, 1990, pt. 2

Van Log, 1994: A Collective Narrative

Van Log '94.

May, 1994: Brother Todd and I, along with our friends Mel and Laura, left our hometown of Columbia City, Indiana, to embark on a cross-country road trip to Valdez, Alaska. Officially, we made the journey to work in the fishing industry, but it was also about getting some kicks and enjoying a change of scenery. We drove Todd’s green 1974 Ford Econoliner van, complete with a fried egg decal on the side and orange shag carpet on the interior walls.

Van Log: We brought along an audio cassette tape recorder to log any comments or observations we felt were worth remembering. The recorder, along with the collection of nine or ten audio tapes we made, became known as the "Van Log."Van Log 1994 is a collective narrative, much like Wikipedia. Instead of identifying individual speakers when transcribing the audio tapes, I blended everyone’s statements into one running commentary. The same paragraph might incorporate statements from any or all four of us, or it could even include comments from a fifth or sixth person who happened to be around the tape recorder at the time. Van Log '94 is perfectly coherent without identifying each individual speaker, though I occasionally placed conversational dialogue in quotation marks to indicate when a conversation was taking place between two (or more) people.

We were all unseasoned travelers at the time, and what might come across as naive, irresponsible, or even stupid in these logs was, in reality, just careless youthful exuberance and (possibly misdirected) lust for life in all of us. Some of the things we did were embarrassingly stupid, but that was part of the adventure—learning through experience, no matter how misguided at times.

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

                                    

Van Log, 1994: Forward by Todd

The Van Log was a good companion in 1994. A battery-operated one-speaker cassette recorder/player, a confidant, and a witness to a cross-country trek of four Hoosier youths in search of adventure and fortune in the fish processing industry of Valdez, Alaska.

Adventure is easily had for such an optimistic and desperate troupe as we were, equipped with a knack for being entranced by nearly anything to be found outside our small hometown in Indiana. The notion of finding fortune (the other goal of our journey) in fish processing is, of course, absurd.

We might now be judged to have acted foolishly or naively, but the truth is that while we sought adventure and fortune, we did not really care that much whether we succeeded or not.

Three of us had made various parts of the journey before, so we knew ahead of time some of the possibilities and hardships that lay before us. So, with nothing to gain or lose, we hoped for the best.

In 1994, the Van Log was nothing new however. The idea of the Van Log was originated in 1992, by a different group of travelers, two of whom returned for the 1994 trip. The term "Van Log" was originally derived from Star Trek's "Captain's Log," and some of the entries include reference to "Van Date," an attempt to transform a clear statement of date and time into a confusing jumble of numbers, in imitation of the star dates on Star Trek. At some point, the jumbled van date is abandoned in favor of just saying what time it is.

Van Log O.G.s, 1992: Mel, Todd, & Ross.

On to part 1: Leaving Indiana

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

Van Log, 1994: Leaving Indiana

We're all together, our own calendar. Month of Departure the 1st. 

We're finally done talking about it, planning, getting everybody together, and we're on the way right now. The wheels are rolling and we're on the road. We've got pop and cigarettes and we're getting out of working in the garden today. They're growing peppers and tomatoes and tobaccy. Gotta go get the cash and that's it.

Van Crew, '94: Todd, Jonnie, Mel, & Laura. Ready to leave Indiana.

We were planning on leaving earlier, but everybody had shit to do. It wasn't a deadline anyway.

Laura went into Pizza Chef to get her check. We're gonna go into the bank and cash it and it's gonna be a long ride.

We've crossed the 1st border of the trip. We're in Kosciusko County. I may never be back in Whitley County.

First hitchhiker. Maybe. We're going to go talk to him.

Andy! He's going to Chicago. We could take him further if he wanted to.

There's a giant dragon and there's a giant inflatable ape in a used car lot - A NEW car lot!! And there's a big bull. This is the Land of the Giants.

"Valparaiso is - in addition to the huge bull and the huge dragon - there's a huge mound of dirt in the middle of nowhere..."

"It's a huge anthill!"

"But the Bigboy at Azar's was small."

"Maybe compared to the bull he just seemed small."

"Indiana's own Little Texas."

So far, so good. 
Continue to Illinois

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

Van Log, 1994: Illinois

Our hitchhiker's parting words: "Life is short and pain is long. We're all put on this Earth to help each other."

We're in Chicago & we dropped Andy off. He's going to the youth hostel, gonna look someone up. We're in the Chicago traffic trying to get on, but it looks pretty bleak. Downtown Chicago viewed from the expressway at a crawl.

We're at a standstill. We're below Zero miles per hour on the speedometer and the Animals are playing on the tape deck. We'll probably hear the whole tape before we get out of here.

The scenery is as follows: Billboard that says, "Everybody Gets Their Asphalt from Sherwin (414) 281-6400".

Other scenery: There's a Pizza Hut all you can eat for $3.99.

Something that says, "Butter" on the sign. It could be a factory. It's not a store.

There's a Delta Catfish Processors Factory Incorporated. A couple of church steeples peeking off in the distance, then there's a car sign way up above everything.

In contrast to the drab greys - and even a drab red! - there's a drab red building! Lots of beige & dirty white.

Now we're going along at more than a crawl, but I don't think for long.

There's a billboard for "Apple Beeper".

Now we're close to the Apple Beeper sign. There's a chick in a swimsuit on the billboard & it's like you could touch her. She sticks out.

6:31pm: We're up to 43 mph on the expressway. We're finally moving. It can't be as bad as it was.

Will it be as bad as it was?

Find out in Wisconsin

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

Van Log, 1994: Wisconsin

We've just been welcomed to Wisconsin. I'm looking out over expansive rolling hills with some trees. This is the Wisconsin dairy land we're talking about and it's beautiful. We just passed through a very small town called "Slade's Corner" which, according to the sign, is "unincorporated."

Stretching our legs in Winnebago, Wisconsin.

We're at Lake Geneva. A lot of green in this town. Headquarters of TSR, who had complete domination over my life in high school. 

It's cold in Geneva and they don't even know it.

We saw a sign for Champ's advertising their chicken and a place called Fat Cat's. A bar.

Our waitress commented, "Isn't the weather nice?" We thought she was just joking; or making conversation, but she was referring to the bad weather here earlier that we missed.

"Hair of the Dog" Grooming. Play that Ramones cover album next.

Instead of naming their counties, Wisconsin identifies them with letters,but they do name their towns.

We stopped for cigarettes pretty much & they were overpriced. We're getting into the potato salad now, thanks Andy.

9:55 pm - We're sitting in the parking lot of a funeral home or something with a blinking light. It stopped now, but it was blinking erratically. We stopped because we're not sure what's going on because Highway 50 ended. We're looking at the map now. It'll turn into Highway 14. We're listening to Ween and I'm craving drugs. We're parked in a "Drug Free Zone" too. We dedicate Ween to the "Drug Free Zone". This is exactly where we wanted to go.

10:30 pm - Our first roadkill: Blood for at least 30 feet & just a mutilated deer. Not a very big one. Carnage.

Earlier today, I saw a roadkill that I didn't think was worth reporting because our hitchhiker was present. It was a groundhog. There was no visible wound, but it was swelled up like it was ready to pop. It was in bad shape. There were no visible smears, but there were definitely small chunks surrounding the area. It could've been a man. It was just bloody carnage. Land of Semis and Roadkills.

I would say that Wisconsin is big on corn, fudge, no shirts, closing early & ice cream advertisements.

There's another martini glass on the Steak Pit sign. There are a lot of signs here with Caribbean ads. Resort themes. I've gotta pee & we've gotta find gas. We're looking for a gas station.

"Ride the Ducks - Wisconsin Ducks". There's no gas station, but we could ride the ducks. Wisconsin has its priorities straight. Let's not go to Alaska. Lets just work in Wisconsin Dells & live in the van. I'll work at the gas station, you work at the Taco Bell.

We're in the Wisconsin Dells, lots of tourist shit. "Open All Night", but "No Wine After Nine".

When I was in the gas station, two guys of obvious Native decent saw my earring & asked me, "Wakka Tu?". I have no idea what that meant & I asked them what it meant & they said, "Never mind" and walked away. I asked the gas station attendant what it meant and she said the Indians here are really hip on being Indians and usually they'll stop and explain it to you; but they were drunk and that's why they didn't. I guess she knew them.

Two clocks say it's 9:30 & two say it's midnight! Who to believe?

I anticipate that when I have a family & children, I'll take them to the Wisconsin Dells. "Big Chief Go-Kart World", "Family World", "Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum", "Norman Rockwell Museum", "Biblical Gardens", "Ride the Ducks", "Mexicali Siesta", plenty of taverns, "Competitive Go-Kart Prices", "Boat Ahead", water slides, a lot of fun.

"El Roy Sparta".

1:00 am - I saw a shape fly by. We're balling it through Wisconsin.

Let me tell you about this roadkill: I didn't see any arms or legs nor did I see any wounds were they once may have been. It was cigar shaped & there was a spot of blood on each end.

I was in the fast lane passing a truck & I looked down between my wheels & there was a roadkill, right in the center of the 2nd lane. It was kind of round like a puffball & I wouldn't hit him. I'm not going to hit any. Ah...I dropped a cigarette & it's way down.

We stopped at a rest-stop & Mel's getting his boots on.

These people are confused. They have lofty expectations.

Will expectations be so lofty elsewhere? 
Find out in Minnesota

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

Van Log, 1994: Minnesota

Big Buffalo Bill.

Day 2, 10:21 am: 75 miles from Minneapolis. First roadkill of the day was a decapitated deer. Just blood everywhere. A bloodbath.

OK, there's a Historical Marker. We just passed it. This is not the Mississippi River, this is the St. Croix. I guess it makes sense. In St. Paul they had maps of the Mississippi & we're not anywhere near St. Paul. We'll see the St. Croix instead, which seemed a mighty river to me. It joins the Mississippi.

We're now at the borderland of the two gas station giants of the United States - Amaco & Texaco. Amaco's on that side of the St. Croix & Texaco's on this side. I wonder if that affects price fixing.

We're waiting for the drawbridge to close. It's slow.

We got out where the Mississippi meets the St. Croix & looked around. The Mississippi's muddy. Todd found a lure, we peed in the Mississippi, a train went by. There's a bar here called Seal's Place & another called Boat Drinks and there's a boat with Beavis & Butthead painted on it.

Peeing in the Mighty Mississippi.

We're south of St. Paul - at K-Mart. We stopped to call Kathie & she's not home.

2:30 pm: We're in Minneapolis. Everybody here drives the speed limit. We're going to let Mel drive.

Mile Marker 159 on 19 West in Minnesota. It's the most beautiful country we've seen yet. The wind's tough, isn't it Mel? I've never seen Mel sit up so straight unless he was trying to prove something to somebody. Convince somebody of something. To make a point. Those horses were looking at us back there when we changed drivers. There's the "Broujak Funeral Home" and a kid.

Mel hasn't hit anyone. Thank God. We've left the town. There was a mailbox back there that was hit. Not by Mel. The van is unscathed. No roadkill, no mishaps of any kind. Laura's drawing pictures & Jonnie's on the top bunk, we're playing Lou Reed.

For the first time on the trip, I've felt the pressure that says I'm at a different altitude.

The soil here is black. It is just chock full of life-giving nutrients and it will still be good in 100 years.

We ate at the feet of Buffalo Bill Cotdy's statue. We ate on the ground because none of us could ever stand shoulder to shoulder with Buffalo Bill.

Back at the Frontier Village there was a big Buffalo Bill & a big buffalo.

Are you still with us?

Stay with us at least into South Dakota

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska

Van Log, 1994: South Dakota, pt. 1 - Wall Drug

8:26 pm: Roadkill Report:This wasn't messy, it was a clean kill. It was a racoon rolled-up in a ball by the side of the road. A billboard reads, "South Dakotans Reject Animal Activists". This is the home of the Cattle Ranchers.

We're looking for signs that will lead us to the Corn Palace. There's a big cow statue that would not fit in the van. It would fit on a flatbed though. Pick it up if you're ever in Mitchel with a flatbed.

A large city-bought sign in green is directing us to the Corn Palace. There's the Mouse House Cheese Shop. The Freedom Gas Station. It's a dollar two instead of a dollar ten.

There's the "Taco Tienda With More." "Free Parking, No Overnight Camping."

Corn Palace; Mitchell, South Dakota.

Day 2, 10:20 pm: We just came out of the Townhouse Cafe and it wasn't bad. We had the pot of coffee. The music's getting kind of mellow, let's put on the Misfits. I haven't heard the Misfits in a long time. We're getting ready to make a long haul towards the Badlands. We found out a lot about Custer Park where they have a bunch of buffalo that run into the road and some mules you can pet, so we plan on going there.

We just entered the Mountain time-zone. That means we are now very west and after the Rocky Mountains, we'll be extremely west. We'll be coastal. We're about 60 miles from the Badlands.

I'm kinda jacked-up from all of that coffee we had in Mitchel. I'm feeling like a rocketship here. I took a nap, maybe that had something to do with it. After we had coffee, I took a nap. Explain that. But now I feel like a million bucks.

We could buy some liquor and get plastered. Set up a tent and drink. I'm not gonna sleep tonight, so if we get there and nothing's open, let's start a fire and cook something. Eat and drink and make merry by a fire. Do we have anything we could cook on a fire? We could fry Spam.

If we feel like it tonight, we're gonna fry bananas on a fire and drink liquor

Did you see that? I thought it was an animal at first, but it was a big ball of tumbleweed.

I had an accident! We were coming up on the scenic overlook to camp out and I took the exit and at the top of the exit, what I thought was a space to merge onto the freeway was actually a solid concrete curb and I flew up over that at a pretty good speed and I definitely reamed-out the right front tire really bad. I'm assessing the damage.

Flat.

By the side of the road.

Taking it all in stride.

We're stopped right by a "No Camping" sign. So, that's the situation. Mel landed on me. We may be okay. Jesus Christ, that was a close one. My apologies. No alcohol was involved.

A car with a couple of guys came up to help us out. They let us try their jack. The problem is that one of the lug nuts isn't coming off with the tire iron we have. We tried their tire iron, but it was too small so they've gone to call a tow service. Not that we need a tow, but they could probably get the lug nut off. They'd probably be equipped to handle that.

It's a beautiful night, lots of stars are out and there's a heavy wind. I guess, for a wreck, it was pretty good; but I wouldn't want it to happen again. Hopefully soon we'll be rolling again.

Day 3, 8:45am: Lug nuts are off. It's a beautiful place we were sleeping. A camper was here and I went over to ask them if they had a tire iron when a guy pulled-up and said he had the perfect one. He's had it for fifteen years and he had a lot of faith in it. It was a cross. He was a man of God from Ohio. An evangelist. Now we're waiting for someone to come along with a jack. We slept outside on the prairie. The dream-catcher is done.

Did you shoe-goo it?

9:11 am: We got some wood under the jack. We got it up to where it won't go up any further. We tried to take it down and it won't go down any further either. So now we're left with the van precariously placed on 3 blocks of wood.

10:00 am - Some people from Indianapolis, Indiana, pulled up. Really nice guy, gives us his jack and goes off to see the scenery. We got the tire changed and as we were changing the tire, he told us the entire history of Billings, Montana. He was really up on it. His last name was "Billings" and that's the reason he was going there. The only reason he was going there. Just wanted to see it. He researched back to 1794 and as far as he can tell, he's not related to the guy, "Billings", who started the town; but he thinks a few hundred years back, they probably were related. That Billings had a son named Frederick and a daughter named Laura and so do they. And we have a Laura too.

It's all turned out well. In evaluation of the whole situation, I think that we all did pretty well. Took it all in stride. None of us freaked out. I liked sleeping out in the wind and grass. I'm taking this as a personal lesson to watch my speed. 

"I could have killed everybody."

"Don't get solemn on us."

"I could have hurt somebody."

If that wasn't a prairie...we would've gone off a mountain in Alaska. We'd have plunged to our deaths.

We're gonna go to Wall and check the alignment and put the other rim on the other tire. While we're there, we're gonna go to Wall Drug. "Auto Parts at Wall Drug", there's a sign they could put up. While we drive to Wall, I am brushing my hair and throwing the knots out the window, where they shall become tumbleweed and roam the prairies forevermore.

Wall Drug; Wall, South Dakota.

2:22 pm: We went to Wall Drug; got postcards, got coffee. Have we been busy! We saw Smilin' Sam play the piano, got some good pictures. Sixty cents and we got all the coffee we wanted. Couldn't drink any more. It was a dream. I bought a hack. I called home and that bastard bitch of Satan's spawn of a Godmother I have (and I hope you hear this, you stupid slut) wouldn't let me talk to my own mother.

Smilin' Sam.

Wall Drug attraction.

Bronco Bustin' Laura.

Taxidermy party.

Howdy.

Stay with us as we enter the Badlands, 
South Dakota, pt. 2

Or, go anywhere:  

Van Log '94: A Collective Narrative:

Forward by Todd               South Dakota, pt. 1               Washington

Leaving Indiana                South Dakota, pt. 2               British Columbia

Illinois                               Wyoming                               Hyder, AK (side trip)

Wisconsin                         Montana                                Yukon Territory

Minnesota                         Idaho                                     Alaska