Save the World: Van Log, 1994: South Dakota, pt. 1

8:26 pm: Roadkill Report:This wasn't messy, it was a clean kill. It was a racoon rolled-up in a ball by the side of the road. A billboard reads, "South Dakotans Reject Animal Activists". This is the home of the Cattle Ranchers.

We're looking for signs that will lead us to the Corn Palace. There's a big cow statue that would not fit in the van. It would fit on a flatbed though. Pick it up if you're ever in Mitchel with a flatbed.

A large city-bought sign in green is directing us to the Corn Palace. There's the Mouse House Cheese Shop. The Freedom Gas Station. It's a dollar two instead of a dollar ten.

There's the "Taco Tienda With More." "Free Parking, No Overnight Camping."

Corn Palace; Mitchell, South Dakota.

Day 2, 10:20 pm: We just came out of the Townhouse Cafe and it wasn't bad. We had the pot of coffee. The music's getting kind of mellow, let's put on the Misfits. I haven't heard the Misfits in a long time. We're getting ready to make a long haul towards the Badlands. We found out a lot about Custer Park where they have a bunch of buffalo that run into the road and some mules you can pet, so we plan on going there.

We just entered the Mountain time-zone. That means we are now very west and after the Rocky Mountains, we'll be extremely west. We'll be coastal. We're about 60 miles from the Badlands.

I'm kinda jacked-up from all of that coffee we had in Mitchel. I'm feeling like a rocketship here. I took a nap, maybe that had something to do with it. After we had coffee, I took a nap. Explain that. But now I feel like a million bucks.

We could buy some liquor and get plastered. Set up a tent and drink. I'm not gonna sleep tonight, so if we get there and nothing's open, let's start a fire and cook something. Eat and drink and make merry by a fire. Do we have anything we could cook on a fire? We could fry Spam.

If we feel like it tonight, we're gonna fry bananas on a fire and drink liquor

Did you see that? I thought it was an animal at first, but it was a big ball of tumbleweed.

I had an accident! We were coming up on the scenic overlook to camp out and I took the exit and at the top of the exit, what I thought was a space to merge onto the freeway was actually a solid concrete curb and I flew up over that at a pretty good speed and I definitely reamed-out the right front tire really bad. I'm assessing the damage.

Flat.

By the side of the road.

Taking it all in stride.

We're stopped right by a "No Camping" sign. So, that's the situation. Mel landed on me. We may be okay. Jesus Christ, that was a close one. My apologies. No alcohol was involved.

A car with a couple of guys came up to help us out. They let us try their jack. The problem is that one of the lug nuts isn't coming off with the tire iron we have. We tried their tire iron, but it was too small so they've gone to call a tow service. Not that we need a tow, but they could probably get the lug nut off. They'd probably be equipped to handle that.

It's a beautiful night, lots of stars are out and there's a heavy wind. I guess, for a wreck, it was pretty good; but I wouldn't want it to happen again. Hopefully soon we'll be rolling again.

Day 3, 8:45am: Lug nuts are off. It's a beautiful place we were sleeping. A camper was here and I went over to ask them if they had a tire iron when a guy pulled-up and said he had the perfect one. He's had it for fifteen years and he had a lot of faith in it. It was a cross. He was a man of God from Ohio. An evangelist. Now we're waiting for someone to come along with a jack. We slept outside on the prairie. The dream-catcher is done.

Did you shoe-goo it?

9:11 am: We got some wood under the jack. We got it up to where it won't go up any further. We tried to take it down and it won't go down any further either. So now we're left with the van precariously placed on 3 blocks of wood.

10:00 am - Some people from Indianapolis, Indiana, pulled up. Really nice guy, gives us his jack and goes off to see the scenery. We got the tire changed and as we were changing the tire, he told us the entire history of Billings, Montana. He was really up on it. His last name was "Billings" and that's the reason he was going there. The only reason he was going there. Just wanted to see it. He researched back to 1794 and as far as he can tell, he's not related to the guy, "Billings", who started the town; but he thinks a few hundred years back, they probably were related. That Billings had a son named Frederick and a daughter named Laura and so do they. And we have a Laura too.

It's all turned out well. In evaluation of the whole situation, I think that we all did pretty well. Took it all in stride. None of us freaked out. I liked sleeping out in the wind and grass. I'm taking this as a personal lesson to watch my speed.

"I could have killed everybody."

"Don't get solemn on us."

"I could have hurt somebody."

If that wasn't a prairie...we would've gone off a mountain in Alaska. We'd have plunged to our deaths.

We're gonna go to Wall and check the alignment and put the other rim on the other tire. While we're there, we're gonna go to Wall Drug. "Auto Parts at Wall Drug", there's a sign they could put up. While we drive to Wall, I am brushing my hair and throwing the knots out the window, where they shall become tumbleweed and roam the prairies forevermore.

Wall Drug; Wall, South Dakota.

2:22 pm: We went to Wall Drug; got postcards, got coffee. Have we been busy! We saw Smilin' Sam play the piano, got some good pictures. Sixty cents and we got all the coffee we wanted. Couldn't drink any more. It was a dream. I bought a hack. I called home and that bastard bitch of Satan's spawn of a Godmother I have (and I hope you hear this, you stupid slut) wouldn't let me talk to my own mother.