"Martha Stewart: Apprentice", Week 3 Synopsis

Tonight's episode began with Matchstick (the "Creative" team) talking among themselves about how much they hate Dawn and want her to go home.

When the team observed Dawn & Jim return to the suite, both having survived last week's conference room firing; one team member commented, "I want to throw up,” because, ideally, at least one of the two would have been fired. After returning to the suite, Jim learned his wife had just given birth to a baby girl.

In the morning, Martha called the teams directly from her horse stable. She asked the team, "Just waking up? I've been up for HOURS" (as if she had been personally shoveling horseshit for 5 hours).

This week's task was to design, bake, and sell a wedding cake at a "Wedding Expo." Martha mentioned the wedding industry brings in $72 billion per year and generously allowed the teams to thumb through back issues of Martha Stewart - Weddings magazines for inspiration.

Matchstick team leader Shawn (the short-haired newscaster girl) was so confident, she told George Wannabe (second in charge, after Martha Stewart herself), "If we don't win this one, you can fire me personally".  George Wannabe seemed seriously concerned about this rash comment.  He confided to the camera that Shawn was, "boisterous".

Over at Primarius (the "Corporate" team), team leader Howie reprimanded his team when they complained he sent them to an Asian wedding store. "That's Bullshit!!!! blah-blah-blah-blah!!!!!"

["Bullshit" was censored by the network, but you could read his lips].

None of Howie’s team mates had ever seen him become that upset before and they were all relieved when he eventually calmed down and began hugging people instead of screaming at them.

Primarius was working late into the evening and the team members were all exhausted when they were paid a surprise visit by Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis. 

Primarius claims the visit from Alexis, "lifted our spirits" because they enjoyed asking her questions about what it was like being Martha's daughter.

The next morning, Matchstick were so proud of their cake, they were practically screaming with glee. Team member Shawn hated the cake though. She hated everything about it, but mostly that it had a bow on it. She sulked all through the Wedding Expo and throughout the rest of the show.

There was a disgusting clip of Jim and David talking in the bathroom, strategizing in their underwear while David was trimming his facial hair - not good TV.

When all was said and done, Primarius (the "Corporate" team) sold 5 cakes while Matchstick (the "Creative" team) sold ZERO.  Martha asked Alexis to bring her back a piece of each team's cake so she could personally sample them.

After sampling the cakes, Martha commented, "It tastes homemade and that's what you want to go for in a cake".

As soon as she said this, Jim nodded excessively with fake enthusiasm, very unconvincingly.  If he was trying to communicate that he felt exactly the same way, that's not how it came off. It came off as impulsive, insecure kiss-assery.

Martha shook her head at the Matchstick team for losing all 3 weeks in a row and commented that the Corporate group is, "demolishing the Creative group." Matchstick should be ashamed of themselves.

Primarius' reward for winning was to have desert with Donald Trump and his wife. Martha called Trump personally on his cellphone during desert and Trump told her, "You have a real attractive group of winners here."

Then Trump asked if any of them would like to work for him (implying "instead of Martha") and they all yelled, "YES!" except for one girl who developed a very sour expression on her face.

The conference room scene was advertised in the commercials as "A Conference Room Twist" and it really was! After the usual nonsense, everyone was sent back to the suite except three members who were singled out. Martha and George Wannabe decided that everyone should be called back into the boardroom though. Their reasoning was that it wasn't the cake's fault nobody bought it and they wanted to fire one of the sales staff. I think the secret reason was because they wanted to fire Shawn for being boisterous earlier.

They asked Shawn why she said they could fire her if Matchstick lost and Shawn said that in the TV business where she works as a newscaster, everybody always says "Fake it 'til you make it" when they can't remember their lines.

Martha countered with, "I've been on TV for 12 years and I've NEVER said, 'Fake it 'til you make it'!!"

She then promptly fired Shawn for endorsing the slogan, "Fake it 'til you make it," as well as for being generally boisterous.

Martha still hasn't developed a catch phrase when she fires people (she probably didn't want to pay Donald Trump to say, "You're Fired" since he copyrighted it). Tonight she said, "I wish you well, but I have to say goodbye." Then she rolled her eyes as the team left the conference room.

Snippet from her goodbye letter to Shawn - "At Martha Stewart Living, everything we do has to be beautiful on the inside and out, just like the wedding cake".

The previews for next week look even better than this week's "Conference Room Twist".  The phrase for next week is, "One Team Won't Even Finish"!!!  I bet it's Matchstick again.

[ Source:  Real World…Blogger Style! - October 6, 2005 ]