In high school, I was part of the speech and debate team, and we competed at a different participating high school every Saturday morning. One weekend, after our competition, I was wandering around the host school with two teammates, Yoder and Baker, as we often did while waiting for the awards ceremony.
While we were hanging out in the men’s restroom, we noticed the ceilings were made of foam panels, held in place by a grid-like pattern of light aluminum framing. It was one of those odd moments where we found ourselves scrutinizing the mundane details of the place, completely absorbed in our surroundings.
As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Yoder and I decided to push out a couple of ceiling panels and crawl around up there for a bit. We each hopped into a stall, stood on the toilet bowls, and removed a foam panel. Excited by the prospect of peeking into the girls' restroom, we climbed up into the ceiling.
Suddenly, a crowd was audible outside the door. Yoder instantly jumped down into his stall, but I scrambled up into the ceiling and replaced the foam tile, hoping to stay hidden.
It was pitch black up there, and I couldn’t see a thing. I felt around until I found something that felt like a cement block to sit on while I tried to collect my thoughts. As it turned out, nobody entered the restroom. I could hear Baker below, assuring me we were all clear, while Yoder said he would check the hall since the noise was still pretty loud.
Just as I put my leg out to stand up, it burst right through the foam ceiling. Panic hit me, and I quickly pulled it back, shifting my weight to stabilize myself. Then, everything became a blur. I heard snapping and popping sounds, followed by an enormous CRASH as I realized I was in the process of falling through the ceiling!
 |
| Falling through the bathroom ceiling. |
I was lucky I didn’t rack myself on the bathroom stall dividers. Instead, I fell straight down into a single toilet stall, landing right on the toilet as if I were casually seated there. Except my pants were still on, my backside was sore from the impact, and my arms were throbbing from whacking the tops of the stall dividers as I fell in. To top it off, there was a mountain of broken foam scattered around me, and a long, twisted piece of aluminum divider dangled from the ceiling, now missing about four foam panels.
The crash echoed in my ears, and I wasn’t even sure I could stand when the stall door swung open to reveal Baker, laughing and crying at the same time. "Get up! We have to get out of here!" he urged. As I rose, part of the toilet seat I had landed on fell to the floor. When I stepped out of the stall, Baker collapsed on the ground, unable to contain his laughter.
Glancing in the mirror, I realized I was covered in a fine white powder I had picked up while falling through the ceiling. Dressed in a suit and tie, it looked suspicious, to say the least. I also had long hair at the time, and I frantically tried to brush the powder out. Baker helped me dust off my suit as we made our escape from the restroom.
I paused for a last look at the toilet stalls, which now looked like a disaster zone. Foam pieces and a cloud of powder littered the floor beneath the massive hole in the ceiling. A long, mangled strand of aluminum framing dangled into the stall where I had landed.
When we exited the restroom, the hallway was packed with people arriving for a school sports event. Yoder stood by a locker, pretending to open it while shaking from laughter, tears streaming down his face. When he saw us leave the restroom, he fell down laughing again.
We headed back to the cafeteria, where the speech and debate teams were gearing up for the awards presentation. Later, we would all enter separately, but our entrances were so close together that it instantly raised suspicion. Yoder walked in first, bright red and grinning like a maniac. Baker followed, equally flushed and giggling, with tears still in his eyes. Finally, I walked in, looking uncharacteristically serious and limping, my hair and suit dusted in white powder.
People started asking what had happened, and I replied, "Nothing!"
But once we left the meet, I couldn’t resist sharing the story for comedic effect.
On the bus ride home, I heard Yoder’s and Baker’s takes on the incident. Yoder had been in the hall, observing the wave of people arriving for the sports event when he heard the enormous CRASH. He opened the door to investigate and was met with the sight of a gaping hole in the roof, surrounded by a cloud of settling dust. He immediately shut the bathroom door and casually walked toward the lockers, desperate to disassociate himself from the spectacle.
Baker, on the other hand, had approached the door to act as lookout. He had seen my foot pop out through one of the ceiling tiles and thought, "Oh no, we need to get out of here before we get in trouble!" The next thing he saw was the ceiling collapsing and me plummeting into the stall, frantically waving my arms. He doubled over laughing, trying to leave but unable to get up. Finally, he decided to check the stall to see if I was okay. When he opened the door, he found me sitting on the toilet, covered in foam. He claims he yelled for me to get up, but I just mumbled that my backside hurt. Then, with an urgent expression, I exclaimed, "We have to get out of here!" And as I stood, the toilet seat fell apart in two pieces.
It’s a miracle we never got in trouble for that. They probably chalked it up to a freak accident or blamed it on someone from the sports event outside. After that day, I never attempted to crawl into a ceiling again.
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