Cheap Video Reviews: Get Christie Love

Get Christie Love.

DVD. 1975.
I picked this up at the 99 Cent Store and had pretty high expectations which it did not live up to.
Get Christie Love was shot in 1975 and it really has all the indications of a made for TV movie, rather than a theatrical release. There are frequent fade-outs that just beg for a commercial break. 

Aside from the gritty intro, the rest of the movie feels like filler. There isn't much of a story line, it's just Christie Love trying to find a drug lord's "ledger" which records all his contacts and shipment times & places

Gritty opening scene.

The film's various "detective work" scenarios seem more an excuse to show Christie in different outfits and interacting with different people from various walks of life. There isn't much to the story and most of the scenes could be dropped and it wouldn't hurt the story at all. I actually dozed off about half way through and had to watch the 2nd half later.

I also think this film was made during the height of the 70s Kung-Fu craze. In one scene, the drug lords are watching a Chinese karate movie and the leader comments, "Let me tell you about Japan, it's going to take over the world with its transistors and now these movies."

Captain Riorden.

Anyway, Christie Love is a cop, though as the film opens, the viewer thinks she's a hooker because she's undercover.

Christie's main companion in this film is her supervisor, Captain Riorden. While part of the establishment, Capt. Riorden is also hip for his age. He smokes cigarettes constantly and occasionally reveals a subtle tendency toward grooviness in his personality which comes out occasionally when he gets worked up and says stuff like, "You dig?"

Capt. Riorden & Christie Love, you dig?

Capt. Riorden is also pro-sex. He is scrupulously professional in his dealings with Christie Love, except for when they're not on a case. Then he constantly attempts to get in her panties.

Outside Christie Love's apartment.

In one scene, he takes Christie Love out to a restaurant called "The Broken Drum - You Can't Beat It". Then he walks her home and tries to talk her into letting him into her apartment for a drink, but Christie Love is a good girl at heart and never gives in. Captain Riorden is no smooth talker and he doesn't even try to be. He just says, "Can I come in for a drink?" which isn't a very charming thing to hear (especially from your boss).

Christie Love in Florida.

The first totally unnecessary scene is when Capt. Riorden sends Christie Love to Florida. He wants her to find something out about who might have the Drug Lord's shipment ledger.

Mingling with the locals.

Surprisingly, Christie actually locates the Drug Lord's main lady (they are staying in the same hotel)! And then Christie Love just blatantly asks her where the drug lord keeps his ledger of contacts and shipment times/locations! Needless to say, the lady doesn't tell her.

In the next scene, she is back home in the police office and Capt. Riorden can't believe she just asked where the ledger was. He takes her off the case and puts her on "the pick pocket force" as punishment.

Chewed out by the boss.

Christie's response is to call the head of the pick pocket force and tell him she's sick. She then puts on a metal-studded denim jacket and matching skin-tight pants and goes out on more "detective work."

I couldn't follow exactly what she was doing or looking for here, the main interest is just watching Christie Love out on the streets. To gain entry into a wealthy home, she flashes her badge at a maid, who comments in disbelief, "Are you jivin' me??"

Are you jivin' me?

All we really learn over the next 45 minutes is that Christie Love is a straight cop and she is cool, but not uptight. Instead of arresting a teenager for smoking marijuana, Christie Love just advises her, "I'd cool it with the grass".

There's some cool footage of an AA meeting in the mid-70s and Christie Love eats a HUGE plate full of spaghetti for dinner and has a fish named Clarence.

That's about as interesting as it gets, even Christie Love's and Capt. Riorden's sexual tension is boring. In one scene, they are in a criminal's house and while Capt. Riorden is sitting on the guy's bed, Christie Love turns a switch which starts playing jungle drums and flashing groovy lights over the bed:

Christie Love: "Turn you on?"
Capt. Riorden: "Turn you on?"
Christie Love: "You're a regular Don Juan aren't you?"
Capt. Riorden: "How would you know?"
Christie Love: ::smiles::

Somewhere in this hour of crap is a pretty funny piece of dialog, my favorite in the entire movie. Christie Love is trying to get some adoption information from her friend, Child Adoption Case-Worker, Myron Jones:

Myron: "When a couple adopts a child, they are assured that the natural mother will never..."
Christie Love: "Now you're acting like a natural mother!"

Christie Love again shows she has a heart of gold when the child's real natural mother has been shot and Christie Love drives her out to the school football field (instead of a hospital) so she can see her kid one time before she dies.

Real natural mother: "So that's my boy."
Christie Love: "He's a real good kid too."
Real natural mother: ::dies::

Finally, the film ends with a drug bust. Captain Riorden and Christie Love are on the smugglers' trail (apparently they found the ledger, I wasn't paying much attention at this point) and they track them to a movie house where a thug is screwing around with a film projector. Then, amazingly, a bunch of bags of cocaine fall out!

Captain Riorden holds up two bags of dope and exclaims, "Now, that's a VERY dirty movie!"

"Now, THAT'S a VERY dirty movie!" 

When he's taking Christie Love home, Capt. Riorden tries to get into her apartment again. Insisting she let him in for a drink.

Christie replies, "Well, maybe just one. But that's my limit."

Then it is over.

Commentary: Ehhhh....it was ok. I like watching Christie Love run around. The story was almost non-existent though. I'd rather watch an old episode of Kojak. I will mail this DVD to anybody who wants it.

[ Reviewed January, 2006. ]