Are You Hungry Tonight?

Found this in the discount shelves at Borders.

Apparently, Elvis used to love eating a whole plate full of mashed potatos.

Avatar Vault: 2011

I'm not sure why I used this as a social media avatar, but I did for awhile in 2011.

 

Found in the Library

One plastic zip lock bag containing three tablets of Viagra.

Placed in the Lost and Found.

Boyd Rice

Boyd Rice at the Roundhouse, London, U.K.; May, 2011.

My Plant/Cat Hack

The cats kept peeing in our plant.  This was my solution:

Hi Guys!

Hi Guys!

Hit Me

"Hit me!" - a recreation of a parking garage altercation witnessed by Albert Cortes. 

Transcription:

"Hit Me.

Hit me again.

Hit me again, bitch."

Albert saw it go down and he says this video doesn't do it justice at all.

Jon Sr. on Vacation

Jon Sr. & Fran @ Universal Studios' Terminator experience:

Action Heroes.

In the Jurassic Gift Shop:

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 1

Guy juggling knives for money at Venice Beach.

A selection of knives.

Catch!

Balancing & Juggling.

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 2

Guy walking on broken glass for money at Venice Beach.

Glass Walker.

Library Answer Line

I used to staff the library answer line.

I was moderately helpful.

Library Answer Line.

R.I.P. Randy Rhoads

While visiting San Bernardino, we stopped by the cemetery to visit Randy Rhoads' grave. He had a beautiful gravestone, purchased by Ozzy himself.

Digital Kilbuck

Tacos De Anda

 

A God Called Pastor

Came across this walking around in L.A.: Charlie House, A God Called Pastor. He's not getting me.

Great Shakeout

Earthquake preparedness flyer for our participation in the Great California Shakeout:

Great Shakeout flyer.

Found Note: Fuck You and Fuck Love

Note found in a public library:

Fuck you and fuck love.

Found List: Clubs

Found in a public library:

List of clubs.

List of clubs:

• Story makers
• Book lovers
• Jesus lovers
• Game makers

Tazah

I confess I only bought this product for the cool label.

Tazah: Honey with Nuts.

Super Performance

HONEY  -  TAZAH  -  NUTS

HONEY WITH NUTS

Bag It Up

The awesome store bag for Secret Headquarters comic shop, Los Angeles, CA.

Secret Headquarters store bag.

Dancing to the Litter Box

Machete dancing all the way to the litter box.

Machete.

Regrettable Purchases: Rabbit Feet

While I was buying some supplies for the cats at our local pet store, I noticed a bag of dried rabbit feet on the shelf and asked about them. The manager told me cats love them, so I splurged on a bag as an exotic treat.

Turns out, the cats were completely indifferent, if not outright disgusted. What a rip-off! I’m pretty sure those things are meant for dogs, though not long after, I never saw them on the shelf again so maybe nobody likes them. What a weird product!

Machete hated them.

Found Drawing: I'm Stupid

Drawing found in a public library:

I'm stupid.

Introducing Furfur

I’d been admiring Furfur at the pet store for several weeks—back then, his name was Austin. We really liked each other through the glass, and I ended up getting him for my birthday! I didn’t want to keep calling him “Austin,” so, inspired by his appearance and personality, I consulted a book of demon names. When I came across “Furfur” (an archduke of Hell in Christian mythology), I thought, If that isn’t a cat name, I don’t know what is. It suited him perfectly. Welcome to the house, Furfur!

 

Stan, At Attention

Stanley Wood, at attention.

Stanley Wood.

Huell

Glad I got to meet Huell Howser once. He lived up to his TV image totally.

Huel's autograph.

I'm not sure exactly when we got to meet him, but whenever it was, it was the 16th:

16th:  Huell Howser.

The Originals at Rest

A rare photo of all three of the original Originals sharing a bed.

Front to back: Stanley Wood, Machete, and Tiggi.

The original Originals.

Found: FU Carina

Robert to Carina, "FU."

Found: Hey, Bitch"

"Hey, Bitch."

Found: Hate or Love Us

"Hate us or love us, be nice to us!"

Negotiations are Over

Tiggi's pawprint is now legally recognized in 3 states and 1 enchanted forest.

"The paw has spoken."

Overheard: 180 Days Sober

Two guys sitting in adjacent bathroom stalls talking shit about sobriety while, apparently, shitting:

Guy #1: "I drank myself into a coma. Woke up the next day, got a dog, and decided to be sober. Stayed that way for 180 days."

Guy #2: "That's it!"

Alice Chandler

OC's first female deputy, Alice Chandler: Then & Now (1940s/2000s).

Alice with her portrait by William Mortensen.

Your Mom

Overheard conversation between two kids playing video games:

                              "Have a good night!"

                              "Your mom will have a good night."

                              …

                              "He ate the queen!"

                              "Your mom ate the queen."

John Wayne Airport

Me and Jon Sr. at John Wayne Airport, Orange County.

Two Jons and a John.

G-ville Message Board Posts

[Compiled from Gilliomville message board posts, contributed by various Gillioms and Franks]:

A perfect Gilliom birthday would involve blowing up the microwave while cooking something.

Here is the rules from now on:

1. No Wild Turkey before posting on Gilliomville.
2. Watch what you say because everyone is reading.
3. Get plenty of sleep on work nights.
4. Eat right.
5. Exercise often.
6. Vote.

I miss mooning people, it's been too long.

Boy, the women just can't stand it when we're happy, can they?

Todd, I had no idea you were so informed on pine trees!!

I want to get to the point to where I could punch out a mean dog.
Then I could walk around pretty confidently.

Looking back through my life, it sure seems like the people who are quick to tell you they have it all figured out, sure fall hard.

I can't believe I took my yard for granted for so many years. It's the only thing in my life I have control over.

In 1990, I shot Brian Clark in the arm. The B.B was surgically removed from his Deltoid.

While cleaning and organizing the house, we came across a whole bunch of useless keys. We tossed them all into one container. Now, as a joke, when we have guests and we just don't want them to leave, we're going to toss their keys into that container; then they'll have to sort through them all to find the correct one. It won't be funny if it happens to you, so make sure you know your keys before visiting.

When we lived out at the lake, Dad taught me and Todd how to tape firecrackers and sparklers to arrows, light the fuses, then shoot the arrow really high up in the air where it would explode. That was really fun. I would also emulate a panel from a Green Arrow comic and lay on my back, holding the bow up with my feet. You could pull the string back really far with both hands and your full body weight. The arrow would go so far up in the sky, you would lose sight of it.

Jonnie, tell me if this brings back memories:  I was looking at my senior yearbook and you wrote, "Well, I might not be finishing up my senior year with you if this whole fire alarm thing doesn't blow over." Those were some wild times.

I remember Dad being really worried that they wanted to kick Jonnie out of school and he couldn’t afford a lawyer.

The bathroom in the Craigville house had a door that led to the roof of the garage. One day, Adam got out on the roof and jumped off. It was like jumping off of a one story house and it didn't even phase him. Abby has told me she remembers jumping off also.

Forward to G-ville

Forward to I Left My Heart in Gilliomville
By Donald Kilbuck

I could laugh and sometimes put on my shades and cry for all it's worth and be mad for just a little while and wonder if it's my eyes with my scope on Gilliomville.org and other ends of the earth that may clown me into laughter much for thoughts that aren't all into focus butt tasty places to chop the foods that people eat. u r what u eat.

I'm getting hungery and i only had coffee this morning. I will go rake Harold's lawn about 1:00 PM and bring along something to eat from Costco:  a burned Chicken for $5.99. Good price for a cooked chick.

[From "I Left My Heart in Gilliomville," 2008]

A Valentine to Gilliomville

I was pondering what the real draw of Gilliomville might be, for me at least, and stupid comparisons to tv families aside, it is this:

You all seem to take real joy in one another, and in existence. And in barbecued meats.

But really, that's what got me--that you're this family that's by no means wholesome or bland, you're all funny and engaged in one another's lives to an extent that you built a website to stay in touch with one another.

This strikes me as amazing, poignant, admirable. Maybe this says more about me than any Gilliom out there. It probably does. But Gilliomville stands against the collective American mythology of the dysfunctional, suffocating American family and I for one find that fascinating, comforting, inspiring, even. And you do it without being insipid, cloying, conventional or square. There seems to be so much love, support, and respect passing back and forth. It made me want to call my far flung family and start up a similar arena.

I dunno. It seems like computer culture is a culture of alienation and capitalism, but this site shows it doesn't have to be; that there are other possibilities.

So you see, the Gillioms stand for something, and Gilliomville is a url of entertainment, free thinking and hope. Vicarious thrills aside, that is why I return ever and again.

So maybe you all aren't really great emblems, maybe I'm just a sad little voyeur, or maybe it's some of both, but--I dunno, you made something powerful. Bet you had no idea.

thanks
AmyJo

[From "I Left My Heart in Gilliomville," 2008]

Editor's Introduction

Editor's Introduction to I Left My Heart in Gilliomville
By Jonnie 

For the most part, this volume’s text was taken directly from posts made to the Gilliomville Message Board between Oct. 2001 and Oct. 2008 – W’s post-9-11 years. In some cases, the text was not always copied verbatim. Some things have been altered slightly in the interest of conciseness or clarity. I also paraphrased occasionally and followed most spell-check recommendations when appropriate or if funny and/or interesting.

Some of the text is original to this document. My father (“Uncle Jon”) and Uncle Rick’s ex-wife, Deb, provided some really good stories which fit the spirit of this publication, even though they did not formally appear on the original message board. I also added some personal recollections when they complimented a particular discussion or line of inquiry. I sometimes added editorial notes as well.

I related the story about me and Nick getting kicked off the golf course from memory because its original discussion on the Messageboard was fragmented and probably confusing to anybody who wasn’t there.

It took some effort to make sense of the multitude of random messageboard posts that have accumulated over the years, but I think this book’s five sections provide a reasonable categorization scheme.

Anyway, thanks to everybody for contributing Gilliom/Frank lore and for participating in Gilliomville over the years. When I started the original message board, I had no idea we would still be regularly using it seven years in the future. 

[From "I Left My Heart in Gilliomville," 2008]

Post No Bills

So many old staples!

Found: Don't Look at Me!

That's not my hand!

Don't look at me!

When in Austin...

Besides Hook 'Em Horns, two other awesome things to see in Austin are:

1.  The Alamo

2. Animatronic LBJ.

Texas really is one big wonderland.

Rome on my Mind

Me in Rome, with the Column of Marcus Aurelius ascending from my head.

A.I. animated version.

"Sit On It!"

Manhunter to Green Lantern: "Sit on it!" (Justice League of America #141, 1977).

In 1977, Happy Days was the number-one TV show in America for the third year in a row. Fonzie merchandise was everywhere, and people of all ages loved quoting “the Fonz.” I can’t help but wonder whether having an alien use Arthur Fonzarelli’s catchphrase was an unconscious choice by this comic book's writer or an intentional joke. The phrase was so ubiquitous in 1977, audiences may not have even noticed it, but forty years later, it stands out as a remarkably strange thing for an alien to say.

The Original Originals

"The Originals" when they were just staring out: Machete, Tiggi, and Stanley Wood.

Laguna Niguel, CA; 2008.

The Originals: Machete, Tiggi, & Stanley Wood.

OG Originals

The original Originals: Machete, Tiggi, and Stanley Wood in Laguna Niguel (pre-Furfur and Ava).

The Original Originals.