Mr. VooDoo

In junior high, my friend Mark and I jotted off hundreds of voodoo curse notes and placed them all over the school. Our intent was to weird people out. The text of the notes read, "You is cursed, says Mr. VooDoo," and was accompanied by a badly drawn skull with a few feathers sticking out of it.

"You is cursed," says Mr. VooDoo.

We'd slip these notes into students' textbooks, teachers' grade books, people's lockers, under staff coffee cups, and inside teachers' office mailboxes. All over the place.

Luckily, our 8th-grade teacher found it amusing and gave us a special mention at graduation for making something entertaining out of nothing. She said she’d crack up whenever she opened a book and one of those notes fell out.

ABOUT PEE

I kept a copy of this mimeographed poem since junior high. 

I think it still holds up after  35 years.

ABOUT PEE

The sun pees in his bed

A horse pees out his tail

A duck pees by his mouth

A ghost pees out of his nose

A spaceman pees on top of his saucer

A hog pees from his ears and makes tears

A chair pees by his legs

Teeth pee by the point of a gumdrop

A toilet pees in a bowl

A man pees in his mouth

A man pees on top of the museum

A dog pees on top of the furniture

A cat pees on food - echk!

A cat pees on dog mess

A drawer pees where the flies live

A jacket pees by the zipper

A coat pees out its pocket

A devil pees by the fork and tail

A boat pees out the propeller

A garbage can pees on people's hands

A flower pees on the stems

- Ronald and Ellen

Chili Dog Burrito Nightmare

The first burritos I ever ate were frozen ones from the supermarket.

Our supermarket’s frozen brand offered three varieties:

• Red Hot (in a red wrapper),
• Mild (in a green wrapper), and
• Chili Dog (in a brown wrapper).

I loved the first two, but Chili Dog was introduced later, and I was unfamiliar with it the first (and only) time I tried one. I assumed it would be filled with beefy chili dog-style chili or something.

I'll never forget my shock the first time I bit into it – the burrito had a whole hot dog in it! It was a hot dog wrapped in beans, then encased in a tortilla and frozen. You would bite into it and pull the whole hot dog out.

It seemed very unnatural and wrong. I was probably 12 or 13 years old, and I think I shrieked out loud when I bit into it and pulled out a hot dog. It was messed up. I'm glad it never caught on.

[Originally posted on I'm Nacho Steppinstone, June 30, 2004]

Michiana Comicon

Wow - $1.00 comic con admission. This was 1983-84 in the midwest, so it was nothing like today's Comic Cons. They even spelled it as one word: "Comicon." Our friends John & Dickey invited me and brother Todd to go with them. It was amazeballs at the time. I forget what city it was in. Maybe Elkhart?

Admit One: $1.00.

Todd got a copy of G.I. Joe #10 signed by the artist. I bought a bunch of titles I couldn't get anywhere else, like Judge Dredd, or obscure independent titles Johnny Nemo. A lot of them weren't all that great, but I was all about seizing an opportunity to encounter something new and weird that I might not find anywhere else. 

Johnny Nemo image taken from an eBay ad. I bought these three same issues.