What's My Vice? Drugs!

According to Vegas, my vice is drugs!

Hulk It Up

Just Passing Through

Water slide through the aquarium, Las Vegas, 2012.

Neon Boneyard

Las Vegas' Neon Boneyard collects old Vegas signage so it can be enjoyed by future generations.

Neon Boneyard.

Twits, 2007-2012

I never used Twitter much.  Here's my entire tweet history:

*Update 11/6/2022 - Finally deactivated the account this morning.

Trophy of Glory

Jon Sr. with a taxidermied tail of a halibut he caught in Alaska.

One man's fish tail is another man's trophy of glory.

Here To Go

While visiting the family in Missouri, we stopped by Bellefontaine Cemetery to visit William S. Burroughs' gravesite in St. Louis.  We launched a baking soda rocket off his headstone.

Found Art

Found drawn on a computer mouse pad in a public library. I think it was drawn with an eraser.

Portrait in eraser on computer mouse pad.

The Great Outdoors

That time I locked myself out of the house while sweeping leaves off the back patio.

Charlie Munger Screen Saver

Charlie Munger screen saver, created by Albert; Jan, 2012:

Year in Facebook Status, 2011

The year 2011 as recorded in Facebook posts:

2011.

Ow, my head. Happy New Year! - Sudoku time! - Tacodawg food truck has reached another level of greatness with their new & improved Reuben Dog (now with pastrami). Best hot dog ever. - Off to San Bernardino today: birthplace of the first McDonalds, Taco Bell, and the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club.  Other attractions include Randy Rhodes’ gravesite. That’s about it. - Spending tomorrow in L.A. - WINNING is the new losing. - Runescape Night! Indian Food!! - I was just told by an elderly library patron that I look like a young Liberace. She meant it as a compliment. - Enjoying Germany immensely. Had my first taste of steak tartare and am addicted. Must find a tartare connection when I get back to the U.S. - I received the best compliment ever: I can drink like a German. - We did a ridiculous amount of laundry today. - Today’s Huntington Beach summary: Breakfast at the Longboard, rented a tandem peddle car, watched some street performers, got some sun, held an albino snake. - Checked out the Long Beach Pirate Invasion today. - Watching Hallmark channel’s “Golden Girls” marathon w/ Sandra. - I’m home from work and playing handyman today. Just repaired two door issues, both related to limiting cat access. - Off to see Daniel Tosh in Anaheim soon. - MMmmm: fermented pear cider. - Alright! I’m in st louis with bro todd. Visiting jon sr tomorrow - Alright! Chipotle gave me my barbacoa bowl for free tonight. Just for being a regular customer. - I’ve taken on the Library’s eSupport duties this week. Any difficulties with hour eBooks or eAudiobooks, I’m the guy to talk to. Yep. - Cro-Mags! - Feeling pretty German: reading Gunter Grass’s “The Tin Drum” and drinking Gluwein (mit Kraken). - Geez: I’m turning into a caramel corn fiend. - Finishing the year out in style: homebound with an upper respiratory infection.

Ten Years Later

Revisiting the train tracks of San Bernardino in 2011.

San Bernardino tracks.

Surviving being hit by a moving train is an incredibly rare and dangerous experience that can result in serious injury or death. However, for those who do survive, there are several lessons that can be learned:

1. The importance of being aware of your surroundings: When near a train track, it's critical to be aware of your surroundings and pay attention to warning signals, signs, and barriers.
2. The consequences of taking risks: Attempting to cross a train track or trespassing on a train track can have serious and potentially deadly consequences. It's important to assess risks carefully and make safe choices.
3. The resilience of the human body: Surviving being hit by a train is a testament to the resilience of the human body. While it's important to avoid taking unnecessary risks, it's also important to remember that the human body can recover from injuries and traumas.
4. The value of life: Surviving a near-death experience can be a powerful reminder of the value of life and the importance of making the most of the time we have. It can inspire individuals to prioritize their goals and pursue their passions.

Overall, surviving being hit by a moving train is an incredibly dangerous and traumatic experience that should be avoided at all costs. However, for those who do survive, there can be important lessons to learn about safety, resilience, and the value of life.   - Chatgpt

Test Print

Testing our new printer at work:

Library Receipt

 Library Receipt, customized by Albert Cortes.

Hey, Smiley

Got my shit together, smiling in front of my new home, Lake Forest, CA.

San Clemente Creeper

Just hanging out a San Clemente, taking pictures of the beach.

Stop Carving On The Walls!

 Seems reasonable.

Are You Hungry Tonight?

Found this in the discount shelves at Borders.

Apparently, Elvis used to love eating a whole plate full of mashed potatos.

Avatar Vault: 2011

I'm not sure why I used this as a social media avatar, but I did for awhile in 2011.

 

Boyd Rice

Boyd Rice at the Roundhouse, London, U.K.; May, 2011.

Travel Notes RE: London/Germany

I.  Depart LAX – British Airways, 3:55pm

The airline announced first class and business boarding and all the women who lined up had the exact same hair-do. At least six of them, freaky!

British Airways’ in-flight entertainment system offers a diverse selection for each passenger.  You can choose whatever you want to watch whenever you want to watch it rather than having one movie broadcast to the entire group. I started watching The Black Swan, but the sound wasn't great and I lost interest; so I switched to The Fighter, followed by the Big Lebowski, and finally Little Miss Sunshine.

Dinner:  The curry chicken was awesome by any standards, but doubly so by airplane food standards.  The meal also included cheesecake, so no complaints.

British Airways provided complimentary toothbrushes and a small portion of tooth paste, which we appreciated after a ten hour flight.  This little perk enabled us to begin our time in London as fresh as possible.

After exchanging our travelers checks for British pounds, we caught the Underground to King’s Cross where our hotel was located.  On this Underground journey, we learned a new swear word: Cockfoster.

London was bustling with activity. We found our hotel, Crestfield Inn, without much difficulty thanks to Sandra’s uncanny sense of direction.  Our room was located on the top floor, which I thought was great until I learned they have no elevator.  It was a real ordeal carrying our heavily packed luggage up a narrow stairwell, climbing god knows how many flights of stairs.  But we made it and soon were comfortably settled in.

Next, we hit the streets, purchased Oyster cards, and took the Underground to Camden Town.  Our Oyster cards were a special edition commemorating the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton, so that was special.  We checked out the Camden Town Stables which date back to the 1800s. While browsing around, we grabbed some Chinese food for 4 pounds from a street vendor and it was delicious.  Portions are much smaller in Europe than in America.  The people generally looked more fit as a result of that and using public transit instead of cars.

We located the historic Roundhouse theatre, where Short Circuit Presents: Mute, A Celebration of Electronica was going to take place in a couple of days. Cool  building – it was round.  In the 1800s, it was a train station (where the train would turn around), now it’s a concert venue. 

After returning to the hotel, we turned in early to overcome our jet lag.

II.  Woke up at 6:30am for our complimentary breakfast.  Free breakfasts generally leave me nothing to complain about and this one was no exception:  strong coffee, meat and cheese on toast, various cereals, fruit, coffee, juice, hard boiled eggs.  I was particularly fond of the meat and/or cheese on toast and enjoyed numerous servings.
After breakfast, we caught a bus to Trafalgar Square where we signed up for the Big Bus tour of London which consumed a good part of our day and enabled us to take in all the notable sites in one day.  We returned home at one point to grab jackets then hopped back on the bus.  This tour also included a free boat ride down the Thames. I photographed Sandra in front of a barge that is featured in one of Depeche Mode’s videos. Great tour, we took a ton of pictures of people from atop the open roofed double decker bus.  Our driver also hit somebody on a motorcycle, which was surprising. Saw Big Ben, the London Eye, London Tower, and all that, even the pub where Charles Dickens used to hang out. I love London.

Back at our hotel, a nearby travel info station helpfully directed us to a nearby Internet café where I learned I was locked out of my gmail account due to suspicious activity.  I complained to Google and hoped for the best. We visited a local grocery store to stock up on water and crisps then spent the evening in lively SoHo.  Had a very good Italian dinner then checked out the night life, which was pretty vibrant for a weekday evening.  Sandra also found a cool graphic novel by a Freddie Mercury enthusiast and it was even on sale.

Oh – we love our bed!  It is mega firm and we both slept great in it.  Sandra claims I didn’t even snore last night. The towels are also impressive, not as soft as what we use in America, but extremely absorbent.  My hair was pretty much dry after running one over my head a few times.  They were some species of extra abrasive terry cloth. 

III.  I thought our shower was broken, but Sandra has the magic touch. I also thought my eyes were deceiving me when I looked out the window this morning because it looked like there was a guy in a Captain America costume standing a ways down the street. As we approached the Tube station later that morning, there was indeed a guy dressed like Captain America and he was collecting money for children.  It was lame to hear Captain America talk with an English accent though.

After breakfast, we visited Buckingham Palace to experience the changing of the guard.  I was surprised to learn they only perform this ceremony a few months out of the year (due to rain and generally bad weather).  Fortunately, we were in London at the right time of year.  It was quite a ceremony with marching regiments, horses, and all that.  I guess I was expecting the band to play “God Save the Queen”, but instead they played a Michael Jackson medley of all things, featuring “The Way You Make Me Feel”, “Man in the Mirror”, and “Bad”.  They kicked this medley off by playing “Theme from Rocky.”  Soon after the song started, I heard a voice in the crowd exclaim, “Rocky Balboa”, in a thick foreign accent.

Once the guard had changed, we tubed back to King’s Cross and strolled over to the British Library which was an impressive library indeed with a great gift shop. Their special collections room featured the Magna Carta itself along with some early Guttenberg Bibles from the birth of the printing press (1450s).  Lots of manuscripts including J.G. Ballard’s Crash and a Beatles section featuring drafts of early song lyrics scrawled out by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.  They also had numerous early navigational maps and religious texts among other impressive things. I really wanted to take some pictures, but cameras were prohibited.

After the British Library, we returned to Camden Market for some shopping.  At lunch, I couldn’t decide between the original English breakfast or fish & chips, so I ordered them both despite Sandra’s disapproval and the waitstaff’s confusion.  Awesome epic meal.

I'm really impressed by the bricks of London.  The most impressive brick structures are standing here. Great bricks.

Our legs were killing us by the end of the day, so we returned to the hotel to rest before the big weekend birthday event for Mute Records.

IV.  Woke up early and read from Bill Bryson’s At Home. After breakfast, we stopped by the Internet café before continuing on to the historic Roundhouse for Short Circuit Presents: Mute, A Celebration of Electronica. We checked in early, received our event passes, and enjoyed a couple of the best lattes I’ve ever tasted in an adjoining café/bar.  Daniel Miller himself wandered in and out repeatedly and was immediately accosted by Germans.  Later, we picked up our goody bags then enjoyed a couple of beers and pear ciders.  We played around with the synthesizer lab (“Don’t Be Afraid”) then I went across the street for fish & chips and a steak & kidney pie.

The Mute shows were fantastic. We got right up front for Recoil, who I wasn’t as excited about since we’ve seen them twice in California last year, but there was a twist! Nitzer Ebb’s singer joined in for a few numbers and he really made an impression.  What a great front man. This collaboration also included a drum line featuring the rest of Nitzer Ebb as well as the Architect!  Pretty cool. Allen Wilder got a little pissy about all the Depeche Mode fans in the crowd, but managed not to be too much of an asshole about it.  I guess it didn’t help that someone was yelling, “Martin Gore!” during Recoil’s set. It was like a quarter of the people were there to see Depeche Mode even though they were not scheduled to perform.

Nitzer Ebb was on next and they killed.  Killed, killed, killed. I had no idea they were so impressive. I remember, “Where is the youth/Where is the gold” from the 1980s, but had no idea they were still so vital. I love drums and yelling and there was a lot of that. The Architect came out and took pictures of the crowd for awhile. Saw that dude open for Recoil in CA.

Moby snuck onto the stage next, on the down low.  Contributed a great dj set.

Sandra got her picture taken with Recoil’s Paul Kendall then we grabbed a drink to brace ourselves for Boyd Rice / Non. What an experience! Boyd Rice is cool. I can't believe I saw him in person. He kicked his set off with “Total War” and ended it with a noise composition where he ran an electric drill over the strings of an electric guitar.

After Non, Sandra and I got separated. She caught Daniel Miller’s dj set. We met up afterward and took a cab home as the Underground was no longer running. Even though I know cars drive on the opposite side of the street in London, the late night cab ride was still a little disorienting.  I kept thinking we would run into oncoming traffic. Exciting. Great night!  More tomorrow.

V.  We caught a few hours of sleep. Didn’t stay for T. Raumschmier last night as they came on really late and we wanted more than a couple hours of sleep before the next day’s show. Today we met a couple of chatty Germans in the café, then set out to experience day two of the Short Circuit festivities. It’s too bad photographer Anton Corbjin cancelled, but we did attend an enjoyable talk from producer Gareth Jones. It’s impressive how down to earth these Mute guys are.

We caught a set from newly signed artist Beth Jeans Houghton next and we both really enjoyed what we heard though it was difficult to see her standing behind Daniel Miller. You don’t want that guy standing in front of you when you’re trying to watch a performance, he is both tall and wide. A massive, musical visionary. A “special guest” cancelled, then we grabbed a doener and got in line for a Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds movie where we actually got to see and hear a former Bad Seed in person.  He had a great rabbit story. This wasn’t heavily attended as about everybody was attending a Q&A with producer Flood which was booked simultaneously in the next building.

We continually ran into Daniel Miller throughout the weekend. If felt like he was our shadow.

Our sociable German friends were parked in front of the main stadium entrance all day long.  Instead of checking out the day’s performances and special features, they stayed put so they could get as close as possible to the front of the stage for Fletch and Martin Gore’s dj sets.  They were two of many hard core Depeche Mode fans who came out for this event. No Depeche Mode fans are more hard core than those bred in Germany however. There was rampant speculation of an unannounced Depeche Mode performance and rumors that the band’s vocalist was sighted in London.  Ultimately though, these rumors came to nothing besides wishful thinking.

We spotted Boyd Rice hanging our in a full blown safari uniform complete with black shoes and socks.  I wish I caught a picture. He really stood out.

Our feet were killing us by the time the main events were starting up, so we decided to sit in the balcony for the evening’s performances where we enjoyed a nice overhead view of the show. Looked to our left, and there he was again – Daniel Miller.

The Liars kick off the evening’s main events.  They were cool - reminded me of Sonic Youth.

Next were the Residents – Oh, god.  The Residents.  I was speechless. “Mirror People!”  Really cool to see them live and I like weird things, but their set was very weird and perhaps went on a little long. Bravo though.

Andy Fletcher of Depeche Mode was on next with some half-assed dj-ing (with assistance).  I hope all the Depeche Mode fans thought it was worthwhile flying to London for this.

Around this time, the Roundhouse’s CEO informed us we were sitting in his seats and insisted that we move to other seats even though there were plenty of empty ones in the area. 

Fletch only dj-ed for about a half hour, then Alison Moyet and Vince Clark took the stage for Yazoo’s final performance ever.  I really enjoyed that lady’s singing.

Next was Erasure.  I’ve never been an Erasure fan, but the crowd went apeshit for them. The Roundhouse’s CEO left after their set. Still don’t know why he didn’t just sit in a different seat for the short time he was present.

More Fletch for another half hour. Sucked. I went out to the lobby for a beer and cider.  Event drinks are much more affordable in London.  America must tax the hell out of them.

Laibach was next – hell, yeah.  They even covered “Warm Leatherette” at the end of their set.  They also played hard core pornography on the video screen behind the band.

The night’s finale was a dj set from Depeche Mode’s Martin Gore. Oh god, I’ve been down that road before. I knew this might drag on for awhile.  Sandra and I went down to the main floor. I hung out on the floor while Sandra danced.  Met a very enthusiastic Residents fan who saw the group NINE times! WTF? How could you see the Residents nine times?

As the show wound down, our premium passes gained us access to an after hours party where we were treated to dj-ing from Daniel Miller himself.  Mr. Miller was later replaced by the well-regarded Rex the Dog.

So Sandra got in some more dancing. We left around 2:00am and caught a cab home.  On the way out, we saw a couple of girls flirt their way into the lounge where all the performers were hanging out.

London’s night life was really refreshing. People were out and about having fun at all hours, even on week nights. I was starving and McDonalds was open, so we brought some burgers back to our room and hit the sack. 

VI:  Slept in today, then stopped by the Internet café. I was glad to find I was no longer locked out of my gmail account any more. That was really a relief.  All my shit is in there. We grabbed brunch (English breakfast for me, doenner for Sandra) then visited Spitterlfield Market. After that, we visited the famous Abbey Road intersection where the Beatles were photographed for the Abbey Road album cover. This was really an event because there were all kinds of visitors having photos taken of themselves crossing that intersection. You don’t really realize how influential that image is until you realize there is probably a more or less continual flow of visitors wanting to emulate that picture. The local cab drivers seemed pretty annoyed by it. After Abbey Road, we returned to Camden and checked it out one last time.  Had a delicious dinner at a Turkish restaurant, then returned to our room for our final night in London.

VII:  On to Germany:

We managed to wake up in time to pack and make ourselves presentable. One last complimentary breakfast at the Crestfield; then on to the airport and Deutschland, the greatest of the countries. I still haven’t learned German after these five years or so, dang it.

We made it to the airport in one piece. Our flight was delayed an hour, but the actual flight itself was brief, about an hour.  We initially thought our William & Kate Oyster cards would make great souvenirs, until we learned we can trade them in for the balance of our unused travel funds.  We opted to redeem our money since we already had a photograph of the Oyster card.  That is called thrift.

Arrived in Frankfurt and met the legendary Frau Thum, Sandra’s mother. She had snuck into the baggage area somehow.  She drove us home to Braubach where we picked up some cake at Café Marksburg then ate it with coffee in the breakfast area of Frau Thum’s and Mehmet’s new bed and breakfast. The B&B looks great. We were impressed.

Next, we caught up with Granny at the house and settled in. Frau Thum and Mehmet treated us to dinner. Since it is asparagus season in Germany, we ordered asparagus with our dinner and it was delicious of course.

VIII:  Sandra’s birthday: For breakfast, Frau Thum treated us to steak tartare, my first ever. Loved loved loved loved it. I just can’t get steak tartare off my mind.

We were treated to Koblenz’s big garden event (BUGA) and Sandra was able to spend some time with her family on her birthday. We rode a boat down the Rhine to Koblenz, then rode cable cars up to the event. Spent the day there and had ice cream with liquor in it and Hefeweizen.

We returned to Braubach that evening and dined at Goldenen Schlüssel where I finally tried schpetzula.  Yum! Great meal.

IX: While I was really impressed with yesterday’s steak tartare, Frau Thum and Sandra told me about a local butcher’s spicy version which he calls, “American Style”. It is reportedly the best thing ever. He only makes it on weekends, but Frau Thum surprised us with a batch at breakfast this morning. It was indeed the best thing I ever ate.

We checked the Internet then took a bike ride along the Rhine. Pretty warm weather today. We stopped for refreshments at a snack stand which featured pea soup with a sausage floating in it. I tried a cola/beer mixture which tasted surprisingly agreeable. Kind of bitter.

After our bike ride, we made a Globus run. I was surprised to see a Jim Beam representative giving out complimentary shots of a new cherry-infused whiskey right there in the store. You’d never see that in America. And what a meat and cheese selection! Jesus!

For dinner, Sandra’s Uncle Rudolph grilled steaks and sausages for the Thum family in the backyard dining area next to the impressive fountain he was constructing last time we were here. Hanni and Christian joined and I consumed a lot of Hefeweizen. Later Rudolph brought out the schnapps. I was proud to be told I can drink like a German. Coming from Rudolph, that is the greatest compliment a guy could hope for.  Awesome.

X:  Surprisingly, I was not suffering from a hangover when I woke up.  It was probably all the food I ate.

Sandra and I walked around photographing Braubach. We picked up a couple of postcards – one for Dad and one for LTK, then we stopped for ice cream.  I managed to spend a lot of the euro change I brought from home, “Ich habe viel klein Geld.”

Later, we caught up with Hanni and Christian at their place.  We enjoyed a couple of really good malz beers then on to Laguna Pizza!  Sandra had her favorite, the Pizza Chef, and I tried the strangely named, “Americano” which featured thin strips of raw beef. Delicious, but I don’t know why Germans apparently think Americans eat raw beef. This was the second raw beef dish with "Americano" in the name. I wish it were true. I wish we had more of that available over here.

Came home and checked out Germany’s Top Model with Heidi Klum.  A lot fewer commercials on German TV.

XI:  We walked over to Frau Thum’s office and checked in for tomorrow’s flight.  Had a snack at Café Marksburg then Frau Thum drove us to Koblenz for shopping and last minute errands.

Upon returning to Braubach, we visited Krista and Heinz. Krista related her long history of dogs who died. They have me and Sandra’s wedding picture hanging on their wall!

We treated Hanni and Frau Thum to dinner at Eck-Fritz, Braubach’s greatest restaurant. We had to rise at 4:00am the next morning.

XII:  Hanni and Christian gave us a ride to the airport. Frau Thum had other commitments that morning, so it saved us from travelling by cab and train. Our bags were a lot heavier on the return trip. I should bring less clothing next time.

Nice flight from Frankfurt to London. In the London airport, I wandered off in search of one last “Traditional English Breakfast”.  I love beans and eggs. Well, I almost missed our flight.  While I was eating, I realized the gate closed well before the actual departure time, so I was running through the airport.  Thank god the airline was running a little bit late.  Sandra was not amused. New cell phones are in the future.

My Plant/Cat Hack

The cats kept peeing in our plant.  This was my solution:

Hi Guys!

Hi Guys!

Hit Me

"Hit me!" - a recreation of a parking garage altercation witnessed by Albert Cortes. 

Transcription:

"Hit Me.

Hit me again.

Hit me again, bitch."

Albert saw it go down and he says this video doesn't do it justice at all.

Jon Sr. on Vacation

Jon Sr. & Fran @ Universal Studios' Terminator experience:

Action Heroes.

In the Jurassic Gift Shop:

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 1

Guy juggling knives for money at Venice Beach.

A selection of knives.

Catch!

Balancing & Juggling.

Making Money: Venice Beach, pt. 2

Guy walking on broken glass for money at Venice Beach.

Glass Walker.

Library Answer Line

I used to staff the library answer line.

I was moderately helpful.

Now we have chat.

Library Answer Line.

R.I.P. Randy Rhoads

While visiting San Bernardino, we stopped by the cemetery to visit Randy Rhoads' grave. He had a beautiful gravestone, purchased by Ozzy himself.

Found in the Library

One plastic zip lock bag containing three tablets of Viagra.

Placed in the Lost and Found.

Digital Kilbuck

Tacos De Anda

 

A God Called Pastor

Came across this walking around in L.A.: Charlie House, A God Called Pastor. He's not getting me.

Great Shakeout

Earthquake preparedness flyer for our participation in the Great California Shakeout:

Great Shakeout flyer.

Found Note: Fuck You and Fuck Love

Note found in a public library:

Fuck you and fuck love.

Found List: Clubs

There are four kinds of people:

List of clubs.

List of clubs:

• Story makers
• Book lovers
• Jesus lovers
• Game makers

Tazah

I confess I only bought this product for the cool label.

Tazah: Honey with Nuts.

Super Performance

HONEY  -  TAZAH  -  NUTS

HONEY WITH NUTS

Bag It Up

The awesome store bag for Secret Headquarters comic shop, Los Angeles, CA.

Secret Headquarters store bag.

Dancing to the Litter Box

Machete dancing all the way to the litter box.

Machete.

Regrettable Purchases: Rabbit Feet

While I was buying some supplies for the cats at our local pet store, I noticed a bag of dried rabbit feet on the shelf and asked about them. The manager told me cats love them, so I splurged on a bag as an exotic treat.

Turns out, the cats were completely indifferent, if not outright disgusted. What a rip-off! I’m pretty sure those things are meant for dogs, though not long after, I never saw them on the shelf again so maybe nobody likes them. What a weird product!

Machete hated them.

Found Drawing: I'm Stupid

Drawing found in a public library:

I'm stupid.