 |
| Refreshment. |
Coming in through the Yukon, there was some extremely muddy
territory where they were doing construction, which was extremely disorienting
because all the lights from the work vehicles were glaring off of my face...
...My face!... were glaring off the windshield. I'm about half asleep. In fact,
I'm making this entry to stay awake. It looks like the road's moving. I hope I
make it out alive.
6:40 am: It may seem like a dumb thing to tell you about,
but we just saw a fox & it was all bushy tailed. I'm glad we didn't strike
him down with this van. He had a white tip on his tail. Skinny clever fox. I'm
glad we didn't hit him. He's still out there and I hope he never sticks his
nose in a porcupine quill.
Porcupine #9! We're stopped behind a Yukon school bus &
a school boy's getting on. He looks totally Americanized - he's got the slick
hair, he's got the BUM sweatshirt, taking a seat toward the back of the bus.
We're about 45 miles East of Whitehorse, by the way. It's called
"Diversified". That's all it says on the side of the bus. No number,
no school system. Just "Diversified". I was hoping they'd be, like,
Jed Clampet kids.
 |
| Yukon Pancakes, courtesy of Todd & Laura. |
We pulled over in Whitehorse. Cooked some pancakes and Laura
made some strawberry & banana syrup. Mmmmmm...delicious. We're gonna clean
up this mess a bit, then go get coffee somewhere and decide where & when to
go.
7:05 am: We just had coffee at a nice little restaurant &
we saw the new Drum package! It's a lot tougher lookin', looks bigger; and
seeing the new Drum package, you realize how sissy the old Drum packed looks.
We're gonna get two hitch hikers.
We just dropped off some hitchhikers going down to
Vancouver. Just picked them up for maybe a couple of miles...took them to the
highway. One guy sounded Australian, but I didn't ask. He had a nice coat
though, I got one like it.
Now, I like the new Drum package for what we're gonna be
doing in Alaska, but the old Drum package has some class. So when I go out on
the town, I think I'll look for the old Drum package. I mean, it's got the
regal blue & gold and it looks really nice. That's good that I have options
now. I can dress my Drum with my attire.
Here's Mel on Hitler: Hitler's generals (particularly
Goering) said, "We could take Canada easily and that would be a great blow
to Great Britain". And Hitler - quote - "laughed" and said,
"Why would we want that? All that's gonna do is attract unwanted attention
from the Americans and it isn't worth shit anyway". No way. He didn't see
the Yukon. He didn't drive the 99 North. He never saw our lake. He never saw
the pine trees. He never saw shit. The moss & lichens. He never saw Wall
Drug, or he would've been in South Dakota. Yet another of Hitler's follies.
1:45 pm: We saw a lemming.
1:50 pm: We may be in Pachyderm country. There's been two of
them all loaded with shit. Hauling their cars with them so they can set up a
little home & watch TV and all that other bullshit. Fucking Sam's Club
members. I hope we don't see any more.
We just passed a weird little cemetery by the highway and it
had little houses in it. Maybe crude mausoleums. Pretty weird looking, kind of
took us by surprise a little bit.
 |
| Mel's island. |
 |
| Dall sheep. |
3:48 pm - Medical Report: Todd slammed his right middle
finger in the door. We're at the site of Mel's future tower, Coin Lake. It's
beautiful and we've had another accident.
Laura's giving puffed rice to the seagulls and they seem to
really like it a lot. They're gobbling it up. We're going to try to tape some
seagulls chirping.
[Sound of seagulls chirping]
We put a trail of bread into the van and the fat one ate it
all. But he won't come in. He's shy of audio recorders.
There's a sheep walking down the mountain! Now he's
stumbling in the middle of the road! He's cute. Laura's going out with a carrot
to try to tame the sheep. He's walking away. It's going up the mountain...and
he almost fell. Now a seagull's going over to eat the carrot that Laura threw
in the road. Laura got mad because he wouldn't eat it. The mountain goat is now
running up a steep hill. If he falls, I'll tell you.
4:07 pm: I just tried to have a little encounter with a
mountain goat; but he didn't like the carrot, so he took off up the mountain.
What did he say?
He said, "Waaaughhhh!!!!"
4:28 pm: We just saw our second lemming of the day. He's not
anywhere near a cliff so maybe he's not afraid to be independent of the hoard
of lemmings. We just entered "Destruction Bay", site of our last
trip's beer run. Their sign is a bulldozer that says, "Welcome To
Destruction Bay".
5:25 pm: I've just received a field dressing of paper towels
and duct tape from Laura, who applied her veterinary science knowledge to my
fingernail. Now my finger kind of looks like a dog's paw. It's all...I don't
know...I'm just waiting for the border patrol to ask me what's in it.
Mel's made a nice sign. It says: "Faithful servants of
our country, It would be greatly appreciated if you, in your diligent search
for criminal possessions, would kindly replace those items that you open, move,
or otherwise dishevel. Thank you, The residents of the van PS. God Bless
you."
That's pretty cocky. Will it do us any good? I'll bet a roll
of duct tape that it won't do us any good.
OK, I'll bet a fine leather thong that there will be less
destruction than the last time we came through here. And I'll also bet a second
fine leather thong that, even if they're complete total dick asshole
motherfuckers, we'll still get a comment about the sign.
Well, I don't have a problem with that. I fully agree with
that.
Now, wait a minute! I'm gonna bet a roll of duct tape
against a leather thong???
I know, you're ripping me off. You can do anything with a
leather thong! You can make a necklace from a fine leather thong.
Or duct tape.
Yeah, but it's much more stylish with a thong.
No, it's not. Silver is futuristic.
I'm talking about tasteful fashion here.
So am I! OK, duct tape for thong. Get out! ... Fuck it! It's
fun to gamble.
If they're really irritable, that "God bless"
could be seen as a little cocky and that could be the difference between a
quick search and a long, drawn-out search.
That's possible, but what's to say we don't really mean
"God bless you"? Who's to say that??
I have a rotten banana. I'm sure not gonna waste it, I'm
gonna eat it. This book here says that, "Godfather Peyote" makes the
unborn baby dance inside it's mother's womb. Hmmm.....
5:48 pm: Once again stuck behind a pachyderm hauling a
vehicle. And we're on a shitty dirt and oil covered road. And it's starting to
rain. At the first possible opportunity...We're passing this fucker. Make sure
it's clear...it's looking pretty good...Hell's bells, here we go! We're even
with the pachyderm...We're gone. We're on our way. Good riddance, you bastard.
7:01 pm: The last sign we saw said "3 Miles". We
must be near the border because it wasn't measured in Kilometers. We made a gas
stop near the end of our Canada trip, at Beaver Creek. We had 4 nice showers.
We want to get to Alaska and get out of here. Hopefully we're in Alaska soon.
And indeed we were!
Alaska - the final leg of our journey lies ahead.
Just one Border Patrol to go.
And indeed we were!
Alaska - the final leg of our journey lies ahead.
Just one Border Patrol to go.
