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| Das Heilander, vol. 1. |
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| Das Heilander, vol. 2. |
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| "You is cursed," says Mr. VooDoo. |
We'd slip these notes into students' textbooks, teachers' grade books, people's lockers, under staff coffee cups, and inside teachers' office mailboxes. All over the place.
Luckily, our 8th-grade teacher found it amusing and gave us a special mention at graduation for making something entertaining out of nothing. She said she’d crack up whenever she opened a book and one of those notes fell out.
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| "Pharmacist's Preference," Enjuague Bucal. |
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| Don't drink mouthwash. |
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| Kennicott, 1990. |
On the road to Valdez, we took a 60-mile detour to visit McCarthy and Kennicott, an abandoned mining town. It wasn’t the most convenient stop, but we figured if we didn’t check it out then, when would we? The journey involved a treacherous 30-mile drive down a rough dirt road in the middle of nowhere. By the time we reached McCarthy, we had managed to ruin two tires.
Getting to McCarthy is an adventure in itself; you have to cross a river on a hand tram. So, we lugged our flat tire across the river and found a guy on the other side who specialized in tire repair. To our surprise, he fixed the tire for a surprisingly low fee. Considering how far we were from civilization, he could have charged us anything, but instead, he was shockingly fair.
McCarthy itself had a population of barely twenty-something people. It was quaint, but also a bit eerie, especially considering the dark history: years ago, a resident computer programmer went on a rampage, shooting up the town and taking out half the population, which amounted to about ten people. A real testament to the wild side of life in the Alaskan wilderness!
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| Plant foreman, "Mad" Max, Paul processing, me processing, & me on boat. |
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| Icing salmon on the dock, working & playing in the ice house, packing w/ Erin. |
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| Homer, AK, 1990. |
In early 1990, my friend Paul and I began exploring options for an interesting summer job. Nothing stood out until Paul mentioned his aunt in Alaska and the possibility of working up there. Without hesitation, we decided to fly to Alaska and try our luck in the seafood industry for the summer.
At the time, Paul was a far more seasoned traveler than I was. In fact, it was my very first time on a plane. Alaska made an immediate and lasting impression on me. I was captivated by the sight of mountains in every direction, even in the heart of the city. I also fell in love with the cool summer climate and the eccentric people who called Alaska home.
Before the trip, I brought along a lantern, fully expecting to do some serious camping. Little did I know that Alaska barely gets dark in the summer! Fortunately, we were able to store the lantern at Paul’s aunt’s house.
We also bought a beat-up old car, which we affectionately named "The Abomination." It came with four studded tires for winter, though they weren’t much use during the summer. Thankfully, Paul’s aunt kindly allowed us to store those at her house as well.
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| The "pup tent", Working for Anne & Mean Gene, Ol' Tom Adams, & Claudia w/ customized rubber boots. |
When it came to finding employment, we were completely winging it. Ultimately, we decided to drive out to Homer, where we set up camp on the Homer Spit—a 4.5-mile stretch of land jutting into the ocean. From there, we went door to door looking for work until a company called Keener Packing hired us to dig a ditch.
As it turned out, they initially planned to fire us once the ditch was dug. But, for whatever reason, they took a liking to us and decided to keep us on. We quickly became known as "the Pups" by everyone there, a nod to our complete lack of knowledge about fish or Alaska. Our campsite was affectionately dubbed "the Pup Tent."
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| Salty Dawg saloon, Paul from California, Melissa, Kennicott, the abandoned mining town. |
We stayed in Homer through early July, eagerly anticipating the Fourth of July fireworks display over the ocean. However, the spectacle fell short of our expectations—Alaska’s endless summer daylight made it difficult to enjoy fireworks without the contrast of a dark sky.
By then, we realized we weren’t saving any money, so we decided to try our luck in the salmon fisheries of Valdez, which were rumored to offer plenty of overtime. Some of our co-workers at Keener knew the plant managers at Nautilus Marine. One of them even ran dog sleds with one of the foremen during the winter. They planned to meet us there, as we all prepared to jump ship from Keener.
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| Me & Brother Todd in the 1970s. |
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| My mother, age 3; with Santa Claus, 1950s. |
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| 1 year old Jonnie, 1970. |
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| Peanuts strip customized my James A. |
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| The Muffs. |
In the late 1980s, I had started college and was working a third-shift security guard job in a factory, from about 11:00 in the evening until 7:00 in the morning.
There weren’t too many responsibilities; I would just make hourly patrols. I think it was an insurance thing for them. I liked it because I could study between rounds.
I only bring this up because I remembered another guard there named Werner. He was one of those out-of-shape idiot wannabe cops who thought a low-level security guard job was the same thing as joining a SWAT team.
Anyway, I only bring up Werner because of his messed-up fantasy life. I remember one particular shift change when he started rambling on and on about how he’d love for somebody to try to break into his house so he could shoot them legally. If they weren’t armed, he said, he would put another gun in their hand to justify the shooting.
One night, he drew me a diagram of his fantasy home, which included a large pyramid structure with a hot tub at the top. All three sides of the pyramid were made up of stairs, like this:
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| Werner's fantasy love-spa. |
It was really important to him that the pyramid be tall enough so that he could survey the entire surrounding area from the comfort of his hot tub, ensuring that no one could ever sneak up on him. I couldn't quite understand why he felt so strongly about this, particularly in the context of the hot tub.
As if that weren't strange enough, he shared a fantasy where he was in the hot tub with his wife, surrounded by a stash of guns just in case he needed them. Suddenly, he notices someone trying to sneak up the side of his pyramid.
He said he would climb out of the hot tub, ask his wife to tie a towel around his exposed privates, and then shoot the intruder without hesitation.
As the fantasy continued, more people appeared, coming from all sides of the pyramid. He was being swarmed! He dealt with the situation by firing at everyone, all while his wife kept handing him fresh ammunition.
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| Werner's action sequence. |
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| Dirt lot, equipment, and steel plates. |
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| More of the same. |
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| A shitload of chains. |
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| Mr. T's Birthday. |
Editor's Introduction to I Left My Heart in Gilliomville |
| My first knife ever. |
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| Ulysses' Death Knife. |
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| San Bernardino tracks. |
Surviving being hit by a moving train is an incredibly rare and dangerous experience that can result in serious injury or death. However, for those who do survive, there are several lessons that can be learned:
- The importance of being aware of your surroundings: When near a train track, it's critical to be aware of your surroundings and pay attention to warning signals, signs, and barriers.
- The consequences of taking risks: Attempting to cross a train track or trespassing on a train track can have serious and potentially deadly consequences. It's important to assess risks carefully and make safe choices.
- The resilience of the human body: Surviving being hit by a train is a testament to the resilience of the human body. While it's important to avoid taking unnecessary risks, it's also important to remember that the human body can recover from injuries and traumas.
- The value of life: Surviving a near-death experience can be a powerful reminder of the value of life and the importance of making the most of the time we have. It can inspire individuals to prioritize their goals and pursue their passions.
Overall, surviving being hit by a moving train is an incredibly dangerous and traumatic experience that should be avoided at all costs. However, for those who do survive, there can be important lessons to learn about safety, resilience, and the value of life. - Chatgpt
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| Why are you here? |
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| Moses' promotional t-shirt. |
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| "Don't go to bed with a price on your head." |
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| Sleeve detail. |
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| Back panel images, wide view. |
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| 8 Commandments detail. |
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| Hangin' Tough. |
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| Joey Joe. |
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| Please don't go, curl. |
"The Right Stuff" performance footage includes a lot of
heavily choreographed dancing. Gone are the days of the douche bag background singers.
NKOTB are now a well-oiled high performance machine. You have to give them some kind of credit for that.
Cut to dinner time and Jordan complaining that they always
get served fried chicken: "When we get to a new city, we think we're gonna
have something different [for dinner]", but it's always fried chicken." |
| Haha! Joey Joe's the sound man! |
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| Hangin' Tough. |
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| Donnie's Home Boy t-shirt. |
Today is the two month anniversary of The Real World ... Blogger Style.Joining the blog-house has been much like accidentally falling into a swimming pool fully clothed at a public event. Initially embarrassing, and your money’s no good. But also, kind of invigorating and often refreshing, depending on the weather.
Your assignment is to write a post telling how being a member of the house has enriched your life. - Boz 3/19/2004
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| Ho Ho Ho |
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| How to attach your wiener to a tape recorder. |
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| Van Log '94. |
Van Log: We brought along an audio cassette tape recorder to log any comments or observations we felt were worth remembering. The recorder, along with the collection of nine or ten audio tapes we made, became known as the "Van Log."Van Log 1994 is a collective narrative, much like Wikipedia. Instead of identifying individual speakers when transcribing the audio tapes, I blended everyone’s statements into one running commentary. The same paragraph might incorporate statements from any or all four of us, or it could even include comments from a fifth or sixth person who happened to be around the tape recorder at the time. Van Log '94 is perfectly coherent without identifying each individual speaker, though I occasionally placed conversational dialogue in quotation marks to indicate when a conversation was taking place between two (or more) people.
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| Van Log O.G.s, 1992: Mel, Todd, & Ross. |
