Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas

In the photo booth at Alex's Bar, Long Beach, CA; Sep., 2012.

Jessica Hernandez.

Glue-All

Bubble gum candy cane, 99 Cent Store.

I think it's weird the hair product I use comes packaged in what looks like a glue bottle. 

It did inspire me to transfer the hair product to a real glue bottle. The motivation is to just feel hardcore when I want to spike my hair.

[ Postscript – After I transferred my hair product to the glue bottle, I transferred the glue to a plastic baggy.  In retrospect, I should’ve put the glue into the hair product dispenser and returned it to the store shelf as a prank. Instead, I put the bag of glue on the train tracks for part of my week-long series, “What Should I Put On the Train Tracks?”, over at The Real World…Blogger Style!  ]

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Dec. 17, 2005]

Morning Mayhem Aftermath

Aftermath from last Saturday's automobile explosion on a pretty recently re-paved road.

Carnage. I should park here so they can't tell I'm dripping oil.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Nov. 21, 2005]

Morning Mayhem

At around 4:15 a.m. last night, I heard a loud BAM! and wasn’t sure whether it came from inside or outside the house. After looking around, I discovered it had come from outside, on the street.

Car explosion.

This happened right next door to me. In fact, in the larger photo, you can see the outline of a car in the lower left-hand corner—that’s my neighbor’s. My car was parked directly behind it.

Apparently, a vehicle came careening down the street and crashed into a trailer loaded with something explosive. In front of the trailer (though you can’t see it through the flames) was a massive tour bus that parks there every six months or so. That caught fire too.

I’m honestly surprised we still have power. The flames reached some overhanging power lines, which started sparking and eventually fell. That’s about when the police showed up and told everyone to get back inside their homes.

Update:
In the light of day, it turns out the trailer contained a racecar or dune buggy of some kind—apparently full of fuel.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Nov. 19, 2005]

James, the Former Carny

The spider man guy in the previous post was named James, and I really like working with him. In addition to being a former carny, James is also a barrel of laughs. I took notes yesterday and recorded three noteworthy weird things he said or did:

1.)  Upon walking into the break room and finding Ambush Makeovers on the television -

James: "Fuck this! I don't wanna see an ambush makeover!"
[changes station to Judge Joe Brown]
James: "I wanna see someone get hung!!"

2.)  RE: "Day-O" by Harry Belefonte -

James: "Come Mr. Tallyman, Tally me banana" - You know what that means, don't you?"
Me: "He wants the foreman to count his bananas."
James: "NOoo - well, ok, maybe...but what it really means is he wants a guy to measure his dick."
Me: "HAHAHA"
James: "Well, yeah, 'tally my banana'! That's what it means."

3.)  Spider Venom Contest –

James: "Did you know the Daddy Long Legs is the most venomous spider in the world?"
Me: "No."
James: "Yep, but its fangs are so small, they can't break your skin."
Me: "huh!"
James: "Look it up! Or watch the Discovery Channel!!"
Me: "ok."
 James: "And I've always wanted to put a Daddy Long Legs and a Black Widow in a jar together         and see which one would walk out alive."
Me: "YEAH! I want to see too!! Let's do it here at work!"
James: "OK, keep your eyes peeled for a Black Widow and a Daddy Long Legs. And a jar. And keep your gloves on".
Me: "HAHAHAHAHA...OK!"

Other things I remember about James:

1. In the world of day labor, doing something "Mexican-style" means doing it half-assed. I learned that from Jay.  Though the Mexican guys we work with are probably the most competent guys on staff.

2. One day at lunch, somebody asked James, "What would you do if you looked down right now and there was a rattlesnake?"

James said he's always wanted to catch a rattlesnake and if he did, he'd skin it and make a headband out of the skin (with the rattle hanging off the back).

3. I give James a ride back to the Rebel Leady office after work and yesterday's James monologue went something like this:

James: "Did you know the fly is the only animal that can be frozen and then brought back to life?"
Me: "Really?"
James: "Yep - on the Discovery channel they froze one, then thawed it out later and it came back to life".
Me: "Like Captain Ameria!"
James: "Exactly! Freeze me solid and thaw me out in the year 3000! Or better yet, freeze me and thaw me out once there's a cure for AIDS!!"
Me: "hahahaha"
James: "The only other animal that can be frozen and brought back to life is the lobster. You can  freeze a lobster solid, then throw it in boiling water and the fucker will scream every time! You killed him once, now you're killing him again!!...Imagine doing that to a human!"

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, July 16, 2005]

Fuck It, Let's Make It Look Like Spider Man!

Lately, at work, I've been tasked with equipping trench braces.  They are based around hydraulic cylinders. Sizes range from little ones (pictured) to five or six feet long:

Pallet full of freshly tested cylinders.

My favorite task is assembling the cylinder sets because that requires a vice, which means I am at the tool bench inside the shop and out of the sun, often with a radio nearby.

Here's the outside work area where we test freshly used braces, note damage with red spray paint, and drain the old hydraulic fluid:

Brace lab.

I wish I'd brought a camera on Monday - the whole area was covered in huge spider webs. During a lull in production, a co-worker of mine was examining the webs. We're like, "Dang, everything is covered with spider webs," and he suddenly exclaims, "Hey! Fuck it! Let’s make it look like Spider Man!" and started spray painting all the webs red. They were all around us and they looked really cool. Then we just went back to work and I was thinking, "What a fucking cool guy!"

But really though, what a cool fucking guy.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, July 15, 2005]

Danbai

While I was in the bathroom taking pictures of my mouthwash, I thought My bottle of Danbai shampoo from L.A.'s chinatown was also worth a post.

Danbai.

It only looks girly on the outside. It is actually a very hardcore shampoo that smells a lot like burning plastic when you rub it into your scalp. I almost think it was mis-bottled.

The label is mostly written in Chinese, but 4 points are clearly emphasized in English:

1. Unnecessary to add other protecting elements. It is very convenient to use.

          Comment - True. It IS easy to use!

2. Containing rare herb...and more than ten kinds of amino acid...making the hair easily combed. Keep hair black forever and soft.

          Comment - Forever!

3. The function is moderate and safe.

          Comment - Not my usual function.

4. Full of sweet scents of fresh apple.

          Comment - No, it smells like melting plastic.

[Originally posted on The Real World...Blogger Style!, Sep. 1, 2005]

Column of Virtue

Me in Rome, with the Column of Marcus Aurelius sticking out my head.

Found List: Clubs

Found in a public library:

List of clubs.

List of clubs:

• Story makers
• Book lovers
• Jesus lovers
• Game makers

It's Warm Even

Autographed copy of Rat Catching from Crispin Glover.

Crispin Glover's Rat Catching.

Marquee.

Rural Eateries

Uncle Jon's cabin site is in a pretty ideal location - about 50 miles north of Anchorage, and even closer to the growing city of of Wasilla; so you can still get into town pretty conveniently.

At some point after miles and miles of nothing but trees, you turn down a long gravel road, then another long gravel road, then there you are.

It's a pleasant little community of isolated cabins - everybody I met was real nice, nobody was full of shit.

The only nearby  commercial facilities (and by "nearby," I mean 20 miles away) are a couple of gas stations, a hardware store, and the occasional lodge.

The low population base makes waiting in line extremely rare. This was particularly impressive coming in from southern California.

Typical Alaskan roadside lodge.

Interesting hood ornament.

A little further, and you'll find a couple of local eating establishments, both of them provide huge portions:

Sunshine Restaurant.

Sunshine Restaurant is my favorite, it's right next to a gas station, so we ended up there more often than not. They always had a giant stack of newspapers piled on one of the tables. I don't know if they are ever packed to capacity with customers.

In the other direction, towards Willow, is the Trading Post:

Willow Trading Post.

This place was a little rowdier since it is also a bar in the evenings. Huge portions, again.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Sep. 7, 2005]

Go, Wood Chipper!

Jon Sr's Rural Alaskan Property Site.

I had a good time helping my Dad clear his property and roof his garage last month.

I really loved getting out of crowded California - most days, we didn't see more than 1 or 2 cars go by all day. When somebody drove by, everyone would stop and look because it was kind of a rare event.

And I very much loved using the rented wood chipper. The property site was originally just full of trees which Uncle Jon had pretty much cleared out by the time I arrived.

Once all the firewood had been cut and stacked, he was left with a mountain of brush. The locals don't like people burning brush because of the possibility of starting a forest fire (it's a tundra environment, so the ground is covered by a thick carpet of low shrubbery), so we had the pleasure to indulge in running everything through a rented a wood chipper.

It took us 8 hours (!) to clear all the brush.

Wood chippin'.

Just feed in the limbs -

- and out fly the chips:

It turned out an 80 year old former school teacher who lived out there had a use for those wood chips. She wanted to use them to pave her garden walkways, so we took her over a few truckloads and were rewarded by an amazing moose dinner!

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Sep. 3, 2005]

Mayhem

Two disasters I witnessed this week:

1. An upside down Mercedes blocking 2 of the 55 Freeway's 6 lanes. It was just laying there upside down with its wheels in the air, dead. And 3 girls were smoking cigarettes next to it.

2. We were delivering some trench braces and the onsite backhoe apparently busted an underground water line, flooding the 10-foot deep trench in seconds. We were on the truck and all of a sudden heard a bunch of chatter, then 4 or 5 workmen came piling out of the trench they were digging and soon it was completely flooded and water was overflowing into the street. It was like when someone breaks a fire hydrant in a movie. A kid was coming uphill on a bike and when he turned the corner, a bunch of water was running down the hill at him and he looked really puzzled. Since it wasn't our fault, it was pretty funny, so we were laughing about it; then we loaded are truck really fast before all of our shit was underwater.

Those are pretty much the highlights of the work week. The weekend will be spent polishing off a records management final exam.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, July 29, 2005]

Power Walking in the Magic Kingdom

Participating in a Disney 10K was more than a test of speed; it was a tapestry of moments—some challenging, some comical. As I pushed through the run, fatigue crept in, making each step a struggle. I slowed down to catch my breath, but convinced myself that my pace was at least somewhat decent.

Then, as I turned a particular corner, a troupe of enthusiastic middle school cheerleaders awaited, to spur on the runners. Their presence initially boosted my spirits until their enthusiasm took an unforeseen turn. "Power walking! Yeah!" they roared as I shuffled past. Suddenly, I found myself labeled a “power walker” in the midst of a 10K. Talk about a reality check! 

Huell

Glad I got to meet Huell Howser once. He lived up to his TV image totally.

Huel's autograph.

I'm not sure exactly when we got to meet him, but whenever it was, it was the 16th:

16th:  Huell Howser.

Happy September

Happy September, you bastard.

A new variation on an old theme.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Sep. 26, 2005]

Cement Mixer

A satisfied Rebel Leady Boy, after a day of making cement:

If you have access to a hard hat, wearing it in the car = extra safety.

I'm being hit with student loan payments already, so while I am looking for suitable employment, I had to come up with some cash immediately, so I returned to my local temp labor agency for some quick cash. Today's 8 hours were spent in Newport Beach, standing right here:

Rebel Leady Construction Site.

 I was originally going to be carrying bricks all day, but when the foreman asked if anyone wanted to make cement, I was like, "I do!"

My mixer.

Normally when I blindly volunteer for something, I usually regret it; but today was so great. Making cement is a pleasure, especially when doing it instead of carrying bricks. It's really easy and there's a lot of downtime where you can just stare at the cement mixer like TV. Or throw stuff in there and watch it get drowned. It's much like watching a laundry dryer full of batter.

Inside the mixer.

One other cool thing I saw today was these little miniature drywallers who were working on STILTS instead of ladders!

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, Nov. 4, 2005]

Boyd Rice

Boyd Rice at the Roundhouse, London, U.K.; May, 2011.

Rebel Leady Orange

 I set up so many signs and cones last week. Truckloads of them at multiple sites. The night set ups are a pretty hazardous, especially with traffic happening, but it's fun.

Truck full of traffic equipment.

Me at the traffic blinker parking lot.

Since all my work clothes are dark, they gave me a cool orange t-shirt with the previously mentioned logo of a bicep coming out of a truck & holding a steel plate on it, so I will treasure that little souvenir.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, June 18, 2005]

Rebel Leady HQ

I begin each morning in this little pocket of blue collar sentiment:

Rebel Leady Strip Mall.

Labor Ready is on the far left. On the far right is a barber shop with the entire outside wall painted like an American flag. In the center is the World of Warriors gun shop. I went in there once. They also sell walking sticks.

I’m planning to visit Alaska in August, so I think I’ll keep this going until then. The work site I’ve been on all month asked me if I wanted a full time job there, but between finishing my MLIS and needing to take a couple weeks off in August, I opted out, though I was conflicted. I know they don't grant much personal leave, especially so soon after starting. It would pay better, but it’s exhausting work and I’m not sure how it would mesh with finishing my Master’s program. I ultimately decided to keep the flexibility day labor until I finish school, then I'll see what kinds of options I have.

[Originally posted on Rebel Leady Boy, June 7, 2005]

Dancing to the Litter Box

Machete dancing all the way to the litter box.

Machete.

Fourth of July Fireworks Review

Launched from a rubber cat's head.

Presentation and review of some of the fireworks we shot off on 4^th of July, 2002; Los Angeles, CA.

T&T Flashing Fountain: 

These were mini spark fountains, they also emitted a long tongue of flame at the end, which I'm not sure was intentional. Note they are named "T&T" instead of "TNT." That is kind of interesting.

M - Extremely flammable.

J - These should only be lit in the swimming pool.

Mini Monster: 
They were selling these 2 for 1 at the fireworks stand. The first was set off in the dirt, the second in our Chinatown burn bin.

J - These burn a long time

K - It's like Satan puking.

M - Clean & simple.

Mini Monster.

King Kong: 

King Kong & Blazing Rebel.

Jonnie carelessly lit off King Kong right next to the table full of the rest of the night's fireworks. We were lucky that none of them caught fire.

J - That was a shower of power! I'm saving the label!

K - That was way too close for comfort.

M - Jonnie is no longer allowed to place fireworks in their landing positions.

Chamelia Flower, Purple Rain, Giant Mystery Geyser.

Chamelia Flower:

M - Cheap trick.

J - Uhhhh...

Giant Mystery Geyser:

M - I didn't see that one, I was trying to take pictures.

J - The shower of sparks contained bright ribbons of liquid plasma.

K - The red sparks were like projectiles. Green & red, like Christmas.

Rose Blossom.

Rose Blossom:

We thought the packaging was interesting because, unlike the other fireworks, this one looked like a box of Miracle Grow plant food. It was almost misplaced with the gardening equipment. It was a pretty good display overall, but a huge ball of fire flew way out into the trees.

M - What was that? Nothing flies that far!

Killer Bees:

J - I love the sound effects. Loud and shrill; I guess, like a swarm of killer bees.

M - It reminds me of the band, Divisia.

Killer Bees & Razzle Dazzler.

  

Razzle Dazzler:

M - The razzle was there, but I didn't see much dazzle.

K - It razzle dazzled me.

J - It stinks a lot worse than the others.

K - It smells like a school bus on fire.


Golden Shower:

K - It makes me have to pee.

    

Bizarre:

J - Yuck, it smells like marijuana.

Golden Shower, Bizarre, Eagle Fountain.

K - Colorful & fun until it screams & blows up at you.

M - I don't like those poppy ones. Those that pop at you.

K - It's like burnt shoes.

Eagle Fountain:

J - Made in China.

M - There's no blue.

J - It's commie red & hippie green.

K - Red, White, & Green.

Flashing Wheel.

M - It's the Mexican flag.

Flashing Wheel:

We had two of these. We nailed the first one to a tree & the second to Ulysses' rubber cat.

K - It looks like a foggy morning right now.

M - Phew!.

J - I like that it comes packaged with its own nail.

Missile War & Desert Blitz.

Desert Blitz packaging.

Missile War:

M - I'm afraid of Missile War.

K - It went from all rainbow & nice, to...I don't know...the Apocalypse!

Desert Blitz:
K - Similar to the last one, but more dramatic.

J - There was a ceasefire. It had machine gun bursts from both sides, then it all stopped; then they started in at each other again.

M - I think Missile War is a cheap knockoff of Desert Blitz.

Starfire:

We liked the label's depiction of the burning village, like someone burnt the house down playing with fireworks.

Starfire, Mad Dog, Twin Peaks, Laser Dragon.

M - That one was like an experienced lover.

K - I need a cold shower.

J - You should cover your eyes for that one.

Twin Peaks:

M - That one invaded my personal space.

K - Who killed Laura Palmer?

Laser Dragon:

J - Long-lasting, but monotonous.

K - Reminded me of popcorn.

Ink N Iron, 2013

My first Ink N Iron festival in Long Beach, ft. Iggy & the Stooges. I loved seeing the Fleshtones as well.

Ink N Iron, 2013.